‘Sorry, Mr Hesseltine, but your claim is disallowed. It has been well observed that a man is as old as he feels, but that a woman is rather younger than she doesn’t look. There is no historical instance of any woman being over the age of courtship.’ ‘Then I’m pipped,’ said Hesseltine gloomily. ‘Go on, Jimmy.’ ‘I kissed four more in the time left me, but one of them told me that she would never speak to me again, and so I can’t count her, though it’s what she always says. I was done by the time limit. You can’t in decency kiss a girl and then do an immediate bunk. You must keep on telling her how maddeningly beautiful she is for a few minutes. Besides, at a dance you can’t always find the girl you want at the moment you want her. Still, I claim a score of six.’ ‘The claim is allowed. And what was your sad experience, Mr Hesseltine?’ ‘Much the same as Jimmy’s. I went to the same dance. I also played the friends-of-my-childhood, but I could only raise five of them. So Jimmy’s one ahead. If you had disallowed his old lady we should have tied. I might add that, being rather carried away, I got engaged to two different girls in the course of the hour, and though it’s all right now, I don’t monkey with a buzzsaw again. The next kiss problem will find little Bobby seated with the spectators.’ ‘Possibly,’ said the chairman, ‘the finesse and experience of riper years will have accomplished more than the attractions of untutored youth. May I interrupt your secretarial duties, Sir Charles?’ Sir Charles laid down his pencil, smiled, and shook his head. ‘This time you must place me also with the spectators,’ he said, and quoted an apt line of Horace. ‘It is seldom that you miss. I wish Mr Harding Pope, that I could say the same of you. What have you done this time to redeem yourself?’ ‘What could I do?’ said Mr Pope, with an oratorical gesture. ‘I represent a Nonconformist constituency which is not tolerant of the least laxity in the private life of its member. The mere suspicion that I had taken part in a competition of this kind might end my political career.’ ‘Possibly. Failure to take part in the next competition will actually end your career as a member of this club, as you will see if you refer to rule eleven. The club does not regard onlookers as sportsmen. I suppose, Major Byles, since you protested against the problem, that for the first time in your membership you have failed to compete.’ ‘That is so, but my protest had very little to do with it. Matter of fact, I had a superstitious idea that it might change my luck if I gave a miss this time.’ ‘Then I will turn to Dr Alden. What was your adventure, doctor?’