Or—what appears very peculiar to him—his thoughts “wander”; they are no
longer subject to his will. They attach themselves to problems which, in
reality, do not interest him at all but which he is, nevertheless,
unable to dismiss from his mind. He imposes perfectly ludicrous tasks
upon himself, such as counting the windows along the street. When
attending to simple functions, such as mailing a letter or turning off
the gas, doubts harass him a few moments later, as to whether he has
really dropped the letter into the mail box and whether he actually
turned off the gas.
Perhaps such a condition is merely annoying at first, but it becomes
intolerable when, in advanced stages, it proves impossible to shake off
such preposterous ideas as having flung a child under the wheels of a
car, or thrown somebody from a bridge into the river, or being haunted
by the terrifying doubt of whether he is not in reality the murderer the
police are trying to apprehend for the latest spectacular crime.
All these delusions are utter nonsense, as he himself very well knows.
He has never done any harm to anybody, but if he really were a fugitive
from justice, this obsession, this feeling of contrition could not be
stronger.
To take another case:—this time of a female patient, who is suffering in
an entirely different way, presenting entirely different symptoms. We
will assume that she is a pianiste, who suddenly experiences cramps in
her fingers and discovers herself unable to play. As soon as she thinks
of attending a social affair, she immediately feels the necessity of
obeying a recurrent natural need, making it impossible for her to leave
her own house. Thus, she has been forced to give up mingling with her
friends, or attend dances, the theatre, or concerts.
At the most inopportune moments, she becomes the victim of headaches or
other painful sensations. Eventually, after meals, she feels impelled to
yield to nausea, a condition which, if prolonged, may become dangerous.
Finally, she becomes absolutely unable to stand any of those little
excitements which cannot be eliminated from daily life. Upon such
occasions, she readily faints. As these spells are frequently
complicated with muscular spasms, such attacks assume the aspect of
dreadful afflictions.
Still other patients become subject to disturbances in a sphere where
bodily functions coördinate with manifestations of sentiment. If men,
they find themselves unable to give physiological expression to those
tender urges that induce them to gravitate towards the other sex. On the
other hand, all these physiological reactions may be at their command
when not aimed at the person they cherish most. Then, there are still
other cases, when bonds of sensuality will tie them to persons whom they
actually despise and of whom they have the most earnest desire to free
themselves. Or their sensuality imposes urges upon them whose
fulfillment causes them to shudder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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