Therefore my friends, stand to it one and all, refuse this filthy trash.
It is no treason to rebel against Mr. Wood. His Majesty in his patent
obliges nobody to take these halfpence,[34] our gracious prince hath no
so ill advisers about him; or if he had, yet you see the laws have not
left it in the King's power, to force us to take any coin but what is
lawful, of right standard gold and silver, therefore you have nothing to
fear.
[Footnote 34: The words of the patent are "to pass and to be received as
current money; by such as shall or will, voluntarily and wittingly, and
not otherwise, receive the same" (the halfpence and farthings). [T.S.]]
And let me in the next place apply myself particularly to you who are
the poor sort of tradesmen, perhaps you may think you will not be so
great losers as the rich, if these halfpence should pass, because you
seldom see any silver, and your customers come to your shops or stalls
with nothing but brass, which you likewise find hard to be got, but you
may take my word, whenever this money gains footing among you, you will
be utterly undone; if you carry these halfpence to a shop for tobacco
or brandy, or any other thing you want, the shopkeeper will advance his
goods accordingly, or else he must break, and leave the key under the
door. Do you think I will sell you a yard of tenpenny stuff for twenty
of Mr. Wood's halfpence? No, not under two hundred at least, neither
will I be at the trouble of counting, but weigh them in a lump; I will
tell you one thing further, that if Mr. Wood's project should take, it
will ruin even our beggars; For when I give a beggar an halfpenny, it
will quench his thirst, or go a good way to fill his belly, but the
twelfth part of a halfpenny will do him no more service than if I should
give him three pins out of my sleeve.
In short these halfpence are like "the accursed thing, which" as the
Scripture tells us, "the children of Israel were forbidden to touch,"
they will run about like the plague and destroy every one who lays his
hands upon them. I have heard scholars talk of a man who told a king
that he had invented a way to torment people by putting them into a bull
of brass with fire under it, but the prince put the projector first into
his own brazen bull to make the experiment;[35] this very much resembles
the project of Mr. Wood, and the like of this may possibly be Mr. Wood's
fate, that the brass he contrived to torment this kingdom with, may
prove his own torment, and his destruction at last.
[Footnote 35: It is curious to find Swift so referring to Phalaris, of
whom he had heard so much in the days of the "Battle of the Books." [SIR
H. CRAIK.]]
N.B. The author of this paper is informed by persons who have made it
their business to be exact in their observations on the true value of
these halfpence, that any person may expect to get a quart of twopenny
ale for thirty-six of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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