The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
I'm sure we both want you to, aunt. Ted didn't mean that, he didn't. Did
you, Ted?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
All the same to me, my dear, if he did. I can be as obstinate as he can.
Your Aunt Bella's going to be your friend, and you can just lump it or
like it--both of you.
MR. BEN DIXON.
Still you know, my dear, an independent spirit is a beautiful trait in
anyone. I really don't think we ought to do anything to undermine it.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Ah, your solicitors didn't talk like that to mine, Ben, when our
marriage settlements were being discussed.
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_To Ted_.) Ah, that's the worst of women. They will always drag in the
personal element.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Now come, Ted. Don't you be an unkind nephew to your old aunt just
because she's got no chicks of her own and wants to love you.
TED MORRIS.
You're a dear good soul, aunt. Let me come down for a day or two
and bring my books with me--and if ever I do want help from
anyone--why--why, you know I should rather take it from you than from
anybody else.
MR. BEN DIXON.
(_Aside, disgusted_.) I thought he wouldn't stick to it.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Ah, well, come, that's a bit more sensible. Mind you come as soon as you
can, and stop as long as you can, and as for any bit of help, lad,
to start you, why you could make that up to a couple of broken-down
invalids like Ben and me in less than a year, what with physic and
stuff.
TED MORRIS.
(_Laughs._) I shall be sorry for my practice if my patients all look
like you, aunt.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Ah, that's like you all. I get no sympathy. (_Glances round to Jack,
and then draws Ted aside._) Ted, that artist chum of yours looks as if a
change would do him good. Do you think he'd like to come?
TED MORRIS.
I--(_puts his arm round Nelly_)--I think he'd like to be where Nelly
was.
(_Nelly, with an alarmed, troubled look, slips out of the room almost
unnoticed_).
MRS. BEN DIXON.
No!
TED MORRIS.
Yes; another good-looking young nephew for you to kiss, aunt.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Don't you be impudent! That's the worst of it, when we poor women allow
you young men any liberties, you get so saucy over it. Are they engaged?
TED MORRIS.
Not yet--not formally, you know, but----
MRS. BEN DIXON.
(_Nods_.) So much the better. We'll have him down, and then I can judge
him for myself. Mr. Medbury.
JACK MEDBURY.
Yes? (_He comes to her._)
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Will you come down and spend a week at our place in the country? Ted and
Nelly will be coming. Come with them.
JACK MEDBURY.
Oh--Oh, thanks. I shall be delighted.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
That's right. I shall expect you. Do you do portraits?
I try to.
JACK MEDBURY.
TED MORRIS.
It's his leading line, aunt.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Good. Bring your props with you, and paint me a portrait of Nelly. Will
you?
JACK MORRIS.
With the greatest pleasure imaginable. It will be a labour of love.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Oh no, it won't. It will be a fifty pound job, or I shan't have it. Is
it a bargain?
JACK MEDBURY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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