The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Yes, so did I. (_Leaning over and speaking confidentially._) An
inordinate craving for respectability has been the ruin of me. Don't you
ever give way to it. (_Cherry looks puzzled._) You see, Travers----
ADAM CHERRY.
Your first?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
My _première_. He was a bit wild, and when he died, poor man, and left
me with a pot of money, I said to myself, "Now, Belinda Travers, _nee_
Greggs, you've lived long enough in Bohemia. We'll just go in now for
respectability; none of your mere Kensington or Hampstead sort, but
the downright solid stuff." And so I just set to work to look for
respectability, and (_with a motion towards Ben Dixon_) I found that!
(_Looks across at him. He is standing in a beautiful attitude, beaming,
his hands folded together, talking to Nelly._) That's not a respectable
man. That's potted respectability. They must have boiled down a church
to make that. I never thought that there was so much respectability in
the world. _I'd_ never come across so much before, all at one time.
ADAM CHERRY.
And how do you like it?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
I don't like it. There's too much of it for me. I ought to have begun
with small doses. My system can't stand it. I live in an atmosphere
of respectability, and it's killing me. I never go anywhere that isn't
respectable. I never do anything that isn't respectable. Until this
blessed moment I haven't set eyes on anyone who isn't respectable.
ADAM CHERRY.
It must be very monotonous.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Monotonous! It's suffocating! (_Suddenly_.) Cherry, you always were a
good sort. You said you loved me once.
ADAM CHERRY.
(_Alarmed_) It was a long time ago, Belinda.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
I know it--fifteen years, if it's a day--but you can't have ceased to
care for me altogether. Come and help me now. I'm going to the good man
as fast as ever I can. For old love's sake come and hold me back a bit.
Come down and spend a week with me. Come down and let me talk to you
about the days when you and I and the rest of the crowd used to have
sheep's-head suppers sent round from the local tripe-shop, and sit up
till four o'clock in the morning, playing penny nap.
ADAM CHERRY.
Ah, they were jolly times, those, after all. Do you remember your first
cigar?
MRS. BEN DIXON.
That's it--that's it! That's the sort of thing I _want_ to remember.
That's the sort of thing I want to talk to you about. Will you come?
ADAM CHERRY.
Why, of course I will. Shall enjoy it. Where are you, and when shall----
(_Knock heard at door_).
TED MORRIS.
(_Who has been talking to Primrose._) Come in.
(_Enter a waiter carrying a tray on which are two champagne bottles and
some glasses._)
WAITER.
(_At door._) Meester Sherry?
TED MORRIS.
Yes, he's here--but this is not his room.
ADAM CHERRY.
Oh, it's all right, my dear Ted. (_To waiter_.) Yes, yes, put them down.
I'll explain--I'll explain.
WAITER.
(_Putting down tray on table._) Shall I open zem, zir?
ADAM CHERRY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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