The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
Oh, come, you mustn't despair. You've only been "spun," as you fellows
call it, for a few months.
TED MORRIS.
Oh, no, it's nothing very terrible to be "spun," if you've got anything
to spin on.
THEODORE TRAVERS.
Yes--a top spins best when it's full of air--a man doesn't.
ADAM CHERRY.
You see, you won't let anybody help you, Ted.
TED MORRIS.
(_Rising._) Oh, that's only my nonsense, Mr. Cherry. We're not paupers.
(_To Theodore._) Are you coming upstairs to see Nelly?
THEODORE TRAVERS.
Yes, yes; I'll come up with you now. How is she?
TED MORRIS.
Oh, not too jolly. You'll be able to make a few notes. (_They go out_.)
ADAM CHERRY.
Poor boy! Ah, well, he won't be able to help my helping him when I'm his
brother-in-law! (_He takes up a photo of Nelly lying on table._) Dear,
dear me, fancy me a married man, with somebody to call "my dear!" You're
a lucky dog, Adam Cherry--a lucky dog, even if you have been swindled
out of all your savings, and have to go on working for your living! Bah!
what's _work_ when you've got somebody to work for? Why----
(_Notices Theodore's note-book left on table and pauses._) Hulloa! Our
literary friend's note-book. (_Takes it up and turns it about in his
hand, musing._) I wonder if there'd be any harm now in looking inside?
I should like to see how he goes to work--oh, it's only just the same as
an artist's sketch-book, and nobody minds looking into that. (_Opens it
at end and reads._) "June 28th, Brussels. Good idea for farcical comedy.
N.B. Will probably need toning down for English market. Married lady
starts to call on elderly gentleman of irreproachable character,
she----"(_Reads on with broadening smile extending to chuckle--suddenly
checks himself._) Yes--it probably would (_Turns over more leaves._)
Hulloa, what's this marked "Unfinished. Novel or comedy. Characters:
Good-hearted, but chuckle-headed old man, knows himself fifty-five,
calls himself forty-five, fancies himself thirty-five." (_Chuckles_):
Ah, yes, I know that class of man--very clever, very clever! "Young
artist, somewhat conventional type, see page 3. Girl, cross between
the romantically heroic and the quaintly practical. Girl loves artist.
Artist loves girl. But both are poor. Old chap, well off, proposes to
girl. She, tired of poverty, throws love to the dogs and accepts. Old
fellow suspects nothing and tells himself that he will soon win her love
by his devotion and all that sort of thing. Will he ever find out the
truth?" Ah, yes, that ought to make a capital story. I wonder what
_will_ happen? (_Putting down book._) I feel quite sorry for that old
man. A _very_ interesting little story indeed. I wonder where he got it
from now? (_Takes up book again._) He's dated it June 14th--June
14th--why---- Yes, that's the day I proposed to Nelly--and--he was here
that day. (_Sits thinking. Suddenly a suspicion of the truth flashes
across him. He hurriedly takes the book and reads again, this time in a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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