The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three ActsJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Prude's Progress: A Comedy in Three Acts
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
No, I didn't, Ted. I said somebody might have told you I had. People do
tell things about other people that are not true sometimes. (_Ted rises
and stands by table, looking troubled. Primrose breaks into a ringing
laugh._) You can't get out of it now, Ted. I could bring a breach of
promise case against you. (_Ted still looks stern. Primrose rises and
comes to him, playing with one of his coat buttons._) I've deceived
and trapped you into it, haven't I? Please forgive me. It--it isn't
so _very_ much, and I could give it away to the Salvation Army if you
liked, or we could let Mr. Ben Dixon lay it out for us. (_Laughs._)
TED MORRIS.
You don't understand, dear.
PRIMROSE DEANE.
(_Seriously._) Yes--I do, dear. You're a silly stuck-up old thing.
You never would have spoken so long as you thought I was rich--and
I--(_nestling against him_) wanted you.
TED MORRIS.
(_Relenting._) They'll say I married you for your money.
PRIMROSE DEANE.
Don't you care for me sufficiently, dear, not to mind what "they" say?
(_Looking him earnestly in the face._)
TED MORRIS.
(_Looks at her, and then takes her face in his hands and kisses her._)
Yes, dear, forgive me. (_After this, in loverlike fashion, they commence
walking about the room and talking with their arms round each other's
waists._)
TED MORRIS.
Let me see. I shall pass my examination in November.
PRIMROSE DEANE.
And then we must look about for a nice little practice. We'll have one
somewhere in the country, shall we?
TED MORRIS.
Yes. (_Musing._) I wish I hadn't been fool enough to let that Ben Dixon
have all----
(_A knock at front door heard. Primrose runs to window and looks out._)
PRIMROSE DEANE.
Yes, I thought so. It's Mrs. Ben Dixon. (_Running to door and holding
out her hand to Ted._) Let's go upstairs to Nelly. (_Ted catches her
hand, and they run off, leaving the door wide open behind them. A wait.
Then enters Mrs. Ben Dixon, shown in by servant._)
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Is Adam Cherry in? (_Cherry follows in._) Oh, here you are. I ain't late,
am I?
ADAM CHERRY.
No--not as it happens. But I'm expecting him every minute. (_To
servant_.) Ask Mrs. Wheedles to step up, will you? (_Servant goes out._)
MRS. BEN DIXON.
I was bound to stop and get a snack. This is going to be a trying scene,
you know, Cherry. What does--what's the poor woman's name--Mrs. Wheedles
--think about it now?
ADAM CHERRY.
Oh, much the same. She's still sure he's the man.
MRS. BEN DIXON.
I hope to goodness she's right. We shall look silly, you know, Cherry,
if he isn't.
ADAM CHERRY.
And he will look silly if he is. (_Enter Mrs. Wheedles. She is nervous
but tries to be confident and to behave, as she would term it, "as
a lady"_) Oh here you are, Mrs. Wheedles. This is Mrs.----
(_pauses--awkwardly_.)
MRS. BEN DIXON.
Well, we're not sure who I am at present. That's just what I've come to
find out. I suppose there'll be no doubt about your knowing this beauty
if he is the man?
MRS. WHEEDLES.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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