The Prussian OfficerLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
The Prussian Officer
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
Fiction; Short stories
“You’d better clear,” said one young, excited voice to him. And with
immediate instinctive decision he started to walk away from the spot.
He went down the tree-hidden path to the high road where the trams ran
to and from the town. In his heart was a sense of vindication, of
escape. He was leaving it all, the military world, the shame. He was
walking away from it.
Officers on horseback rode sauntering down the street, soldiers passed
along the pavement. Coming to the bridge, Bachmann crossed over to the
town that heaped before him, rising from the flat, picturesque French
houses down below at the water’s edge, up a jumble of roofs and chasms
of streets, to the lovely dark cathedral with its myriad pinnacles
making points at the sky.
He felt for the moment quite at peace, relieved from a great strain. So
he turned along by the river to the public gardens. Beautiful were the
heaped, purple lilac trees upon the green grass, and wonderful the
walls of the horse-chestnut trees, lighted like an altar with white
flowers on every ledge. Officers went by, elegant and all coloured,
women and girls sauntered in the chequered shade. Beautiful it was, he
walked in a vision, free.
II
But where was he going? He began to come out of his trance of delight
and liberty. Deep within him he felt the steady burning of shame in the
flesh. As yet he could not bear to think of it. But there it was,
submerged beneath his attention, the raw, steady-burning shame.
It behoved him to be intelligent. As yet he dared not remember what he
had done. He only knew the need to get away, away from everything he
had been in contact with.
But how? A great pang of fear went through him. He could not bear his
shamed flesh to be put again between the hands of authority. Already
the hands had been laid upon him, brutally upon his nakedness, ripping
open his shame and making him maimed, crippled in his own control.
Fear became an anguish. Almost blindly he was turning in the direction
of the barracks. He could not take the responsibility of himself. He
must give himself up to someone. Then his heart, obstinate in hope,
became obsessed with the idea of his sweetheart. He would make himself
her responsibility.
Blenching as he took courage, he mounted the small, quick-hurrying tram
that ran out of the town in the direction of the barracks. He sat
motionless and composed, static.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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