The Prussian OfficerLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
The Prussian Officer
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
Fiction; Short stories
He stirred in his chair, under the question.
“I hardly know,” he said. “I’m very likely going to Canada.”
Her spirit became very quiet and attentive.
“What for?” she asked.
Again he shifted restlessly on his seat.
“Well”—he said slowly—“to try the life.”
“But which life?”
“There’s various things—farming or lumbering or mining. I don’t mind
much what it is.”
“And is that what you want?”
He did not think in these times, so he could not answer.
“I don’t know,” he said, “till I’ve tried.”
She saw him drawing away from her for ever.
“Aren’t you sorry to leave this house and garden?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he answered reluctantly. “I suppose our Fred would come
in—that’s what he’s wanting.”
“You don’t want to settle down?” she asked.
He was leaning forward on the arms of his chair. He turned to her. Her
face was pale and set. It looked heavy and impassive, her hair shone
richer as she grew white. She was to him something steady and immovable
and eternal presented to him. His heart was hot in an anguish of
suspense. Sharp twitches of fear and pain were in his limbs. He turned
his whole body away from her. The silence was unendurable. He could not
bear her to sit there any more. It made his heart go hot and stifled in
his breast.
“Were you going out tonight?” she asked.
“Only to the New Inn,” he said.
Again there was silence.
She reached for her hat. Nothing else was suggested to her. She _had_
to go. He sat waiting for her to be gone, for relief. And she knew that
if she went out of that house as she was, she went out a failure. Yet
she continued to pin on her hat; in a moment she would have to go.
Something was carrying her.
Then suddenly a sharp pang, like lightning, seared her from head to
foot, and she was beyond herself.
“Do you want me to go?” she asked, controlled, yet speaking out of a
fiery anguish, as if the words were spoken from her without her
intervention.
He went white under his dirt.
“Why?” he asked, turning to her in fear, compelled.
“Do you want me to go?” she repeated.
“Why?” he asked again.
“Because I wanted to stay with you,” she said, suffocated, with her
lungs full of fire.
His face worked, he hung forward a little, suspended, staring straight
into her eyes, in torment, in an agony of chaos, unable to collect
himself. And as if turned to stone, she looked back into his eyes.
Their souls were exposed bare for a few moments. It was agony. They
could not bear it. He dropped his head, whilst his body jerked with
little sharp twitchings.
She turned away for her coat. Her soul had gone dead in her. Her hands
trembled, but she could not feel any more. She drew on her coat. There
was a cruel suspense in the room. The moment had come for her to go. He
lifted his head. His eyes were like agate, expressionless, save for the
black points of torture. They held her, she had no will, no life any
more. She felt broken.
“Don’t you want me?” she said helplessly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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