The question of marriage is, under existing conditions one of special importance in this connection, since nothing else (with the exception perhaps of permanent separation in space) tends to cut off individuals to an equal extent from the direct influence and contact of their parents. Parents who ardently desire to retain a strong influence over their children are therefore as a rule opposed to the marriage of the latter, and usually display marked antagonism to their sons or daughters-in-law: an antagonism which is the source of very frequent domestic unhappiness. Since the marriage of their children is however in many cases difficult or impossible to avert, such parents will often seek to minimise the disturbing effect of marriage by arranging that their children shall live near them after marriage or that they shall marry a partner whom they regard as suitable. In estimating suitability for this purpose, they are usually guided by the extent to which the partner in question is likely to constitute a serious obstacle to the operation of their own (the parents') influence. Hence it often comes about that the persons selected are sexually unattractive, of weak character or deficient in intellectual power[215]. [Sidenote: Means of avoiding insufficient parental re-adjustment] The avoidance of the evils consequent upon the insufficient readjustment of the parents attitude towards their children is one of the most pressing tasks of an enlightened hygiene of family life. In the accomplishment of this task it would seem that there are two factors which are of great importance: in the first place, the happiness of the relationship between the two parents themselves (for, as we have seen, it is especially in cases when marriage is unsuccessful that there is likely to be an excessive outflow of emotion in the direction of the children); in the second place, the maintenance of outside interests, hobbies or occupations throughout the period of parenthood and the gradual reinforcement of such interests as the growth of the children renders the demand upon the parent's energy less extensive and continuous. Where the circumstances in these two respects are satisfactory, they usually permit of the necessary readjustment of parental energies with the minimum of friction and suffering. FOOTNOTES: [Footnote 200: Mr. Shand's term, adopted by McDougall, is perhaps (in England at any rate) the most generally used and understood in this connection. The term Constellation is, however, used in the same sense by psycho-analytic writers. A Sentiment (or Constellation) differs from a complex only in that it manifests itself openly in consciousness, whereas the complex is unconscious.] [Footnote 201: Often, too, unmarried mothers; though in this case, owing to the fact that under existing social conditions children born out of wedlock cause more than the usual amount of anxiety and trouble, love is very liable to be complicated or even replaced by hate.]