“Yes, and it isn’t all sordid--don’t think I mean that, Miss Claes.
Sometimes when he’s satisfied with his story, so that he can forget it,
we have such good times. He’s such a playboy, such a playmate. Some old
terrible longing comes over me when we are close like that, just to be
like one of the Mediterranean women, who know nothing but to replenish
the earth. But it doesn’t do to dwell on that,” Pidge finished with an
impressive quietness of tone. “One thing I learned rather well, before
it was too late.”
“What’s that, Pidge?”
“That this isn’t the time or place for us to bring a little baby into
the world.”
XXVI
THE HANGING SOCK
NAGAR was changed. On the day that Richard Cobden reached Ahmedabad,
he encountered one of the surprises of his life. It was like meeting
a man out in the freedom of the world, whom one had only known before
in prison. Two years in the East had sharpened Dicky’s eyes to note
something in Nagar’s face that he had been unable to detect before.
Dicky called it cleanliness and calm, but this brought up the old
difficulty which he never missed in his work of writing--that at best,
words only suggest, only intimate.
In America Nagar had looked dark; here he looked fair. There he had
moved in and out as one of the colored men; here he was one of the
elect. There he had lived in the midst of silences and mysterious
inhibitions, diminished by the garments of Western civilization; here
he was white-robed in the sunlight, like young Gautama in his father’s
garden. Of course, Dicky knew that the change was more substantial than
that of garb or place. He could only repeat that Nagar seemed free in
his own mind.
In the first few moments at the station in Ahmedabad, Dicky had himself
felt unwashed and unwholesome, as no man ever made him feel before.
His hand went up to his chin. Yes, he had shaved that morning, but
realizing it did not help much. It wasn’t the grime of travel that hurt
him, but the smear of his recent mental and emotional overturning, the
ugliness of all those days in the red room at Bombay, and the sense
of failure and loss he lived with constantly since the coming of the
letter from Pidge.
“... And the Little Man is actually here in Ahmedabad, and not a myth?”
Dicky had asked, as they drew out of the crowd at the station.
“Not only that, but you are to go to the _Ashrama_ now, if you will. He
is eager to have you come.”
“His house first?” Dicky asked.
“It is also the house in which I live,” said Nagar.
“You mean you wish to put me up in your quarters?”
“If you would not mind our great simplicity.”
“Thanks, I should like that,” said Dicky, “but I think it would be
better for me to follow the usual course of a foreigner and find hotel
quarters.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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