The fact that Rufe Melton was entirely cut off from the play of her
real powers; that he thought her ridiculous, and said so, when she gave
any notice of holding other than the standard American points of view
on politics and religion and social ethics; this was not so serious a
breach between them, as it would have been to a woman who had not come
into so startling a reaction as Pidge had, against the whole system of
knowing and not doing. All the knowledge that really mattered to Pidge
was that working doctrine which doesn’t announce or explain, but shows
itself in living the life. She was very sad, and continually sad, that
she had to work upon Rufe the iron of irony, the stab so subtle that it
astonishes before it hurts, and the self-control which disarms.
Sometimes Sundays or in unexpected periods of leisure they had moments
of actual delight together. This occasionally happened when food just
pleased him, or when an acceptance from a magazine arrived at a price
which he considered adequate. (Rufus never neglected the price of his
things, as an indication of his getting on.) He uncovered a real levity
at such times, and their talk didn’t walk merely, then; it danced.
“We’ll go up to Harlem,” he said one Sunday morning. “I used to live up
there in the colored settlement----”
Figuratively speaking, Pidge waved her hand before her own eyes to
shut out the critical negatives which always arose when Rufe told of
living somewhere. They went and stayed gay. When he turned from her
innocently to consult a policeman in Harlem, she checked the first and
last, “I told you so.” They found yams that day--yams freshly arrived
from Georgia, and coffee said to be parched and dripped according to
an ideal of New Orleans first families. These satisfied Rufus, and
still they stayed gay. Even his, “I could take you around to a lot of
queer dumps in this man’s town,” didn’t upset anything. Altogether that
day was memorable.... Once in desperate fatigue, when there were moving
dark spots before her eyes in every ray of daylight, Pidge cried to
Miss Claes:
“But he is lost to everything, entirely oblivious to everything but
himself and his work--his stories, his fame, his winning his way!”
“I know, Pidge, but the world is on top of him yet. He is fighting his
way up and out. Romance can’t be entirely satisfying, you know, when it
has ambition for a rival. You’ve told me something about the thrall of
a book in yourself--how engrossing it is.”
“That all goes out of me when I’m with him,” Pidge said suddenly. “I
never thought of it before, but all that old agony to produce another
book that I used to feel is gone. I seem to let him carry all that.”
“That helps for the present, doesn’t it?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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