-------------------------------------------------- | NOTICE TO HOSTESSES. | | | | Owing to the very great, constantly growing, | | and at times vexatious demands upon his time | | socially, | | | | HERR WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART | | | | takes this method of announcing to his | | friends that on and after January 1, 1897, | | his terms for functions will be as follows: | | | | Marks. | | Dinners with conversation on the | | Theory of Music ................. 500 | | Dinners with conversation on the | | Theory of Music, illustrated .... 750 | | Dinners without any conversation .. 300 | | Receptions, public, with music .... 1000 | | " private, " ...... 750 | | Encores (single) .................. 100 | | Three encores for ................. 150 | | Autographs ........................ 10 | | | | Positively no Invitations for Five-o'Clock | | Teas or Morning Musicales considered. | -------------------------------------------------- "Well, I declare!" tittered Elizabeth, as she read. "Isn't that extraordinary? He's got the three-name craze, too!" "It's perfectly ridiculous," said Cleopatra. "But it's fairer than Artemus Ward's plan. Mozart gives notice of his intentions to charge you; but with Ward it's different. He comes, and afterwards sends a bill for his fun. Why, only last week I got a 'quarterly statement' from him showing a charge against me of thirty-eight dollars for humorous remarks made to my guests at a little chafing-dish party I gave in honor of Balzac, and, worst of all, he had marked it 'Please remit.' Even Antony, when he wrote a sonnet to my eyebrow, wouldn't let me have it until he had heard whether or not Boswell wanted it for publication in the _Gossip_. With Rubens giving chalk-talks for pay, Phidias doing 'Five-minute Masterpieces in Putty' for suburban lyceums, and all the illustrious in other lines turning their genius to account through the entertainment bureaus, it's impossible to have a salon now."