The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
Charon was puzzled for a moment, but shortly his face cleared, and Sir
Walter's heart sank, for it was evident that the old fellow could not be
cornered.
"Well, it's this way, Sir Walter, and your Highness," he said, "I--I can't
say whether any of that stock has been transferred or not. The fact is,
I've been speculating a little on margin, and I've put up that stock as
security, and, for all I know, I may have been sold out by my brokers.
I've been so upset by this unfortunate occurrence that I haven't seen the
market reports for two days. Really you'll have to be content with my
offer or go without the _Gehenna_. There's too much suspicion attached to
high corporate officials lately for me to yield a jot in the position I
have taken. It would never do to get you all ready to start, and then have
an injunction clapped on you by some unforeseen stockholder who was not
satisfied with the terms offered you; nor can I ever let it be said of me
that to retain my position as janitor of your organization I sacrificed a
trust committed to my charge. I'll gladly lend you my private launch,
though I don't think it will aid you much, because the naphtha-tank has
exploded, and the screw slipped off and went to the bottom two weeks ago.
Still, it is at your service, and I've no doubt that either Phidias or
Benvenuto Cellini will carve out a paddle for you if you ask him to."
"Bah!" retorted Raleigh. "You might as well offer us a pair of skates."
"I would, if I thought the river'd freeze," retorted Charon, blandly.
Raleigh and Hamlet turned away impatiently and left Charon to his own
devices, which for the time being consisted largely of winking his other
eye quietly and outwardly making a great show of grief.
"He's too canny for us, I am afraid," said Sir Walter. "We'll have to pay
him his money."
"Let us first consult Sherlock Holmes," suggested Hamlet, and this they
proceeded at once to do.
"There is but one thing to be done," observed the astute detective after
he had heard Sir Walter's statement of the case. "It is an old saying that
one should fight fire with fire. We must meet modern business methods with
modern commercial ideas. Charter his vessel at his own price."
"But we'd never be able to pay," said Hamlet.
"Ha-ha!" laughed Holmes. "It is evident that you know nothing of the laws
of trade nowadays. Don't pay!"
"But how can we?" asked Raleigh.
"The method is simple. You haven't anything to pay with," returned Holmes.
"Let him sue. Suppose he gets a verdict. You haven't anything he can
attach--if you have, make it over to your wives or your fiancees."
"Is that honest?" asked Hamlet, shaking his head doubtfully.
"It's business," said Holmes.
"But suppose he wants an advance payment?" queried Hamlet.
"Give him a check drawn to his own order. He'll have to endorse it when he
deposits it, and that will make him responsible," laughed Holmes.
"What a simple thing when you understand it!" commented Raleigh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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