The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"Humph!" ejaculated Socrates, with ill-concealed sarcasm. "If you'll take
Xanthippe's word for it, the House-boat was the fastest yacht afloat."
"I refer to the matter of speed in sailing," returned the stranger,
quietly. "The question of its ethical speed has nothing to do with it."
"The designer of the craft is here," said Sir Walter, fixing his eyes upon
Sir Christopher Wren. "It is possible that he may be of assistance in
settling that point."
"What has all this got to do with the question, anyhow, Mr. Chairman?"
asked Solomon, rising impatiently and addressing Sir Walter. "We aren't
preparing for a yacht-race that I know of. Nobody's after a cup, or a
championship of any kind. What we do want is to get our wives back. The
Captain hasn't taken more than half of mine along with him, but I am
interested none the less. The Queen of Sheba is on board, and I am
somewhat interested in her fate. So I ask you what earthly or unearthly
use there is in discussing this question of speed in the House-boat. It
strikes me as a woful waste of time, and rather unprecedented too, that we
should suspend all rules and listen to the talk of an entire stranger."
[Illustration: "'WHAT HAS ALL THIS GOT TO DO WITH THE QUESTION?'"]
"I do not venture to doubt the wisdom of Solomon," said Johnson, dryly,
"but I must say that the gentleman's remarks rather interest me."
"Of course they do," ejaculated Solomon. "He agreed with you. That ought
to make him interesting to everybody. Freaks usually are."
"That is not the reason at all," retorted Dr. Johnson. "Cold water agrees
with me, but it doesn't interest me. What I do think, however, is that our
unknown friend seems to have a grasp on the situation by which we are
confronted, and he's going at the matter in hand in a very comprehensive
fashion. I move, therefore, that Solomon be laid on the table, and that
the privileges of the--ah--of the wharf be extended indefinitely to our
friend on the string-piece."
The motion, having been seconded, was duly carried, and the stranger
resumed.
"I will explain for the benefit of his Majesty King Solomon, whose wisdom
I have always admired, and whose endurance as the husband of three hundred
wives has filled me with wonder," he said, "that before starting in
pursuit of the stolen vessel we must select a craft of some sort for the
purpose, and that in selecting the pursuer it is quite essential that we
should choose a vessel of greater speed than the one we desire to
overtake. It would hardly be proper, I think, if the House-boat can sail
four knots an hour, to attempt to overhaul her with a launch, or other
nautical craft, with a maximum speed of two knots an hour."
"Hear! hear!" ejaculated Caesar.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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