The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq. — John Shaqi
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.Bangs, John Kendrick
Science
The Pursuit of the House-Boat: Being Some Further Account of the Divers Doings of the Associated Shades, under the Leadership of Sherlock Holmes, Esq.
Bangs, John Kendrick
Doyle, Arthur Conan, 1859-1930 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Fantasy fiction; Holmes, Sherlock (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
"It's an island that doesn't appear on any chart, Captain," Munchausen
responded instantly, pulling himself together for a mighty effort, "and it
has never been given a name; but as you insist upon having one, we'll call
it Holmes Island, in your honor. It is not stationary. It is a floating
island of lava formation, and is a menace to every craft that goes to sea.
I spent a year of my life upon it once, and it is more barren than the
desert of Sahara, because you cannot raise even sand upon it, and it is
devoid of water of any sort, salt or fresh."
"What did you live on during that year?" asked Holmes, eying him narrowly.
"Canned food from wrecks," replied the Baron, feeling much easier now that
he had got a fair start--"canned food from wrecks, commander. There is a
magnetic property in the upper stratum of this piece of derelict real
estate, sir, which attracts to it every bit of canned substance that is
lost overboard in all parts of the world. A ship is wrecked, say, in the
Pacific Ocean, and ultimately all the loose metal upon her will succumb to
the irresistible attraction of this magnetic upper stratum, and will find
its way to its shores. So in any other part of the earth. Everything
metallic turns up here sooner or later; and when you consider that
thousands of vessels go down every year, vessels which are provisioned
with tinned foods only, you will begin to comprehend how many millions of
pounds of preserved salmon, sardines, _pate de foie gras_, peaches, and so
on, can be found strewn along its coast."
"Munchausen," said Holmes, smiling, "by the blush upon your cheek, coupled
with an occasional uneasy glance of the eye, I know that for once you are
standing upon the, to you, unfamiliar ground of truth, and I admire you
for it. There is nothing to be ashamed of in telling the truth
occasionally. You are a man after my own heart. Come below and have a
cocktail. Captain Cook, take command of the _Gehenna_ during my absence;
head her straight for Holmes Island, and when you discover anything new
let me know. Bonaparte, in honor of Munchausen's remarkable genius I
proclaim general amnesty to our prisoners, and you may release Blackstone
from his dilemma; and if you have any tin soldiers among your marines, see
that they are lashed to the rigging. I don't want this electric island of
the Baron's to get a grip upon my military force at this juncture."
With this Holmes, followed by Munchausen, went below, and the two worthies
were soon deep in the mysteries of a phantom cocktail, while Doctor
Johnson and De Foe gazed mournfully out over the ocean at the floating
island.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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