Farewell, my note, and wheresoe’er ye wend, Shun gaudy scenes, and be the poor man’s friend; You’ve left a poor one--go to one as poor; And drive despair and hunger from his door. An Irish merchant, who felt annoyed at a complaining letter he received from a customer, wrote back:--“We decline to acknowledge the receipt of yours of the 15th.” If to-day is the to-morrow of yesterday, is to-day the yesterday of to-morrow? 67. Suppose that four poor men build their houses around a pond, and that afterwards four evil-disposed rich men build houses at the back of the poor people--as shown in illustration--and wish to have a monopoly of the water: how can they erect a fence so as to shut the poor people off from the pond? [Illustration] SOME TRADE SIGNS AND MOTTOES. Many curious inscriptions are to be found displayed on shop windows, office doors, etc. Here are a few:-- A Pawnbroker.--“Mine is a business of the greatest interest.” A Flourishing Bootmaker.--“Don’t you wish you were in my shoes?” A Publican.--“Good beer sold here, but don’t take my word for it.” A Hairdresser.--“Two heads are better than one.” A Carter.--“Excelsior--hire and hire.” A Baker.--“The staff of life I do supply, by it you live and so must I.” A Butcher.--“We kill to dress, not dress to kill.” A Builder.--“I send innocent men to the ‘scaffold.’” A Clerk.--“I possess more pens than pounds.” A Dentist.--“I look ‘down in the mouth’ and am happy.” A Doctor.--“I take pains to remove pains.” A Hatter.--“I shelter ‘the heir apparent’ and protect ‘the crown.’“ A Photographer.--“Mine is a developing business and mounting rapidly.” A Solicitor.--“I study the law--and the profits.” An Undertaker.--“No complaints from our customers.” RIVAL BUTCHERS. T. JONES.--“Sausages, 3d. per lb.--to pay more is to be robbed.” J. SMITH.--“Sausages, 4d. per lb.--to pay less is to be poisoned.” A French confectioner, proud of his English, and wishing to let his customers know that their wants would be attended to without delay, put out the notice, “Short weights here.” A shopkeeper in the old country had printed under his name “The little rascal.” When asked the meaning of this strange sign, he replied, “It distinguishes me from the rest of my trade, who are all great rascals.” On an Office Door.--“Shut this door, and as soon as you have done talking on business, serve your mouth the same way.” “SHE.” 68. A country spark addressed a charming “she,” In whom all lovely features did agree; But being void of numbers, as doth show, Desirous was the lady’s age to know. “My age is such that if multiplied by three, Two-sevenths of the product triple be: The square root of two-ninths of that is four;-- Tell me my age or never see me more.” [Illustration] RUNNING SHORT.