Science fiction; Short stories; Stripteasers -- Fiction
"Mister," I says, "everybody knows what a dangerous guy Luigi is. Why,
they got his mug on the wanted wall in every space station from here to
the outer galaxies."
"Yes, I presume they have."
"I figure one of these days the cops is gonna pin enough on him to
make him look like a astronavigator's space map," I adds.
"Oh, I doubt if the space control will ever have the opportunity to
apprehend him here on Venus. This is still a wild, mostly unsettled
planet, you know. And besides, Luigi is too smart," says this little
guy, like he knows Luigi personal.
"Yeh, he sure is. Uh--what's he got on you?"
* * * * *
The little guy reaches over like he doesn't know he's takin' the
Plutonian stinger right from under me nose, and says sort of
thoughtful-like, "He thinks I stole his girl."
"Yeh. Yeh, sure, that would make _any_ fella ma--" I starts, then it
seeps through, and I looks at this little, skinny, runty guy, only I
can't laugh.
"Oh, I didn't of course. But the fact that she was last seen entering
my apartment, and that she never left it, at least not visibly--well,
that makes it terribly difficult to convince him--"
"Now wait a minute--"
"Oh, I don't expect anyone to believe me, anymore. Sometimes I find it
hard to believe myself."
"D-do you know who Luigi's gal is?" I finally stutters.
"Was," he corrects, mournful-like. This sort of scared me. Either
this guy was the kind of crank they never use to wind up a cold jet,
or women had changed a lot since the last time I enriched my culture
by attending a performance of Flossie's Follies at the Little Venus
Circuit Burly-que.
"Mister, I ain't lookin' fer no trouble," I mutters, edgin' back on my
stool.
"Oh, but I assure you, I'm telling the truth."
"Helen LaTour, the terrific blonde," I says, meaningful-like.
"The same!"
"The queen of the burly circuit," I goes on, without realizin' that I
am stretched halfway across the table, shoutin' into his ear because
of a slight argument going on down the bar. "The most luscious hunk of
stuff that ever shook a notion to go on the stage," I enlarges. "Right
out of this world," I finishes up. "Right?"
"Precisely. Right out of this world."
"In your apartment?"
"In my apartment."
Now, I figures that maybe he was one of these here not-so-juvenile
delinquents what believes that if they can't have it, they can at least
kill it, so I starts edgin' away, but then I gets a sudden thought.
"You sure the cops ain't on your trail, bud?"
"No, but if Luigi doesn't get me, it's only a matter of time until they
will be. After all, anyone such as her, disappearing--"
"I thought she was out of town."
"No. Just out of this world."
Them words take on a sinister-like significance, the way he says them.
Then he gets up, sober-lookin' in spite of them Plutonian stingers that
would of disintegrated even a Martian.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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