"The Perkins girl went out on the church steps and cried, she was so hoppin' mad, and when I slipped out o' the back pew to see if I could borry a piece of ice to put in the author's pitcher I see Freedom Cobb, that's home from Dartmouth College, tryin' to comfort her. She don't know that he courts Mis' Doctor Smith's boarders right along summer after summer. Mis' Smith couldn't hold 'em, her meat's so tough, if Freedom didn't kind o' keep 'em contented courtin' of 'em! I was sorry for her; but there, it wouldn't 'a' done to spill water down into the Thomsons' new pianer the way we done into the one we hired from Edgecombe Falls. Mis' Thomson only let us have hern on condition that we wouldn't ask Clarence Cummins to play on it. He's had lessons for three years, and then, anyway, he's naturally strong in his fingers and powerful muscled all over. You'd certainly think he wouldn't leave a key on the instrument when he gits warmed up. He's a great favorite with the deef, and we've got a lot o' deef folks at Bixby Centre. "Did you hear anything said about the minister's introduction? That's kind o' queer; the Congregationalists was real proud of his remarks. Of course there's most every sect represented in the Winter Night Club, and then there's some of the members that wouldn't know a sect if they seen one in the middle o' the road, though they do call this a Christian country. We said if the entertainment was held in the Baptist church our minister had ought to make the opening remarks. We've got a real smart man in Mr. Hobson; some think he's too old, but there! we was about wore out with young students during them four years when we didn't have no settled pastor. Si says to me: 'I declare I'm tired o' settin' in meetin' Sunday after Sunday and hearin' the law laid down to me by them half-fledged boys. Let's have a minister that's feathered out,' said he, 'even if we hev to pay a little more!' "Well, Mr. Hobson's makin' the introduction didn't leave anything for the Methodist minister to do, and his wife was as mad as hops, but we pacified her by askin' him to give the author a vote of thanks after the Readin', and by puttin' her on the reception committee that met the author at the deepot. The Perkins girl wanted the deepot decorated with goldenrod, but the president of the club said we'd got to leave something to do in case the folks that wrote 'Paradise Lost' or 'Pilgrim's Progress' should come to Bixby to read. So we had the winders washed and the stove blacked, put a new chimbly on the lamp and carried the fly-paper into the telegraph office, and Si said the deepot looked as if 'twas goin' to be married; but the author swished right through it and never looked at the stove nor the winders, so we had our labor for our pains.