"You made yourself perfectly clear," answered Lucretia, with a
quiet dignity which was not usual with her. "But before you spoke
of taking the child, I had made up my mind to do so. I have spoken
to Fanny about it, and she is perfectly willing to accept the extra
economies we shall have to practise, and any trouble Amy will give
her. Of course, I shall take charge of her myself."
"How good of Fanny! I have always thought she must have enough to do
with the whole work of your house, and she works a good deal in the
garden, too, does she not?"
Miss Lucretia looked a trifle uncomfortable.
"I think Fanny will enjoy having a young life about the house," she
replied, rather hurriedly; "just as I shall myself."
Constantia smiled. It was not exactly a nice smile, but perhaps she
did not know that.
"I do not think either you or Fanny have had much to do with
children," she said. "It is all very well to have them with you for
a few hours at a time, when they are in their best frocks and on
their best behaviour, and you have nothing to do with them except
amuse them. But when you have the whole responsibility of a child,
and are obliged to look after her from morning till night, it is a
very different thing."
"Of course it is," said Miss Lucretia.
It was that very fact, comprising as it did the constant demand
on time and thought and labour, with all the rich reward of
corresponding affection from the child in its dependence, that
made the sweetness of this dream of motherhood. But Lucretia could
not put this into words. She was never very fluent with her deeper
ideas, which were, perhaps, instincts rather than formulated
notions, and she was least fluent of all with Constantia.
"And how could you ever afford it?" went on Mrs. Dalrymple.
Lucretia explained her scheme of retrenchment, and all her little
plans.
"But you won't be able to go on dressing Amy with your old things
for ever," said Constantia. "And, then, there will be hats and boots
and shoes.
"She may be ill, too; children have to go through measles and
whooping-cough, and that sort of thing: how will you afford to pay
the doctor?"
Lucretia was silent for a moment; Constantia had such a very
convincing way of saying things, and making all that was unpractical
and visionary appear so; but she was not really vanquished.
"I think one must trust for that----" she began, at which Constantia
smiled again.
"How about schooling, too? A girl's education is a very expensive
thing nowadays. I am sure Edie and Gwendoline have cost us as much
as the boys."
"Amy is only five now, and for some years to come I think of
teaching her myself." The present tense this time, for she was on
her mettle. "You know we were very thoroughly grounded by Miss Cox."
"That is a long time ago, Lucretia!"
"Yes, it is a long time, but I suppose the principles of grammar and
arithmetic are the same, and I have not forgotten how to read!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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