Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
His mind was one big excitement. The girl and the foreigner: he knew
neither of their names. Yet they had set fire to the homestead of his
nature, and he would be burned out of cover. Of the two experiences,
perhaps the meeting with the foreigner was the more significant. But
the girl—he had not settled about the girl.
He did not know. He had to leave it there, as it was. He could not sum
up his experiences.
The result of these encounters was, that he dreamed day and night,
absorbedly, of a voluptuous woman and of the meeting with a small,
withered foreigner of ancient breeding. No sooner was his mind free, no
sooner had he left his own companions, than he began to imagine an
intimacy with fine-textured, subtle-mannered people such as the
foreigner at Matlock, and amidst this subtle intimacy was always the
satisfaction of a voluptuous woman.
He went about absorbed in the interest and the actuality of this dream.
His eyes glowed, he walked with his head up, full of the exquisite
pleasure of aristocratic subtlety and grace, tormented with the desire
for the girl.
Then gradually the glow began to fade, and the cold material of his
customary life to show through. He resented it. Was he cheated in his
illusion? He balked the mean enclosure of reality, stood stubbornly
like a bull at a gate, refusing to re-enter the well-known round of his
own life.
He drank more than usual to keep up the glow. But it faded more and
more for all that. He set his teeth at the commonplace, to which he
would not submit. It resolved itself starkly before him, for all that.
He wanted to marry, to get settled somehow, to get out of the quandary
he found himself in. But how? He felt unable to move his limbs. He had
seen a little creature caught in bird-lime, and the sight was a
nightmare to him. He began to feel mad with the rage of impotency.
He wanted something to get hold of, to pull himself out. But there was
nothing. Steadfastly he looked at the young women, to find a one he
could marry. But not one of them did he want. And he knew that the idea
of a life among such people as the foreigner was ridiculous.
Yet he dreamed of it, and stuck to his dreams, and would not have the
reality of Cossethay and Ilkeston. There he sat stubbornly in his
corner at the “Red Lion”, smoking and musing and occasionally lifting
his beer-pot, and saying nothing, for all the world like a gorping
farm-labourer, as he said himself.
Then a fever of restless anger came upon him. He wanted to go
away—right away. He dreamed of foreign parts. But somehow he had no
contact with them. And it was a very strong root which held him to the
Marsh, to his own house and land.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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