Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
Again she came to him, as he stood in his black clothes, with blue eyes
very bright and puzzled for her, his face tensely alive, his hair
dishevelled. She came close up to him, to his intent, black-clothed
body, and laid her hand on his arm. He remained unmoved. Her eyes, with
a blackness of memory struggling with passion, primitive and electric
away at the back of them, rejected him and absorbed him at once. But he
remained himself. He breathed with difficulty, and sweat came out at
the roots of his hair, on his forehead.
“Do you want to marry me?” she asked slowly, always uncertain.
He was afraid lest he could not speak. He drew breath hard, saying:
“I do.”
Then again, what was agony to him, with one hand lightly resting on his
arm, she leaned forward a little, and with a strange, primeval
suggestion of embrace, held him her mouth. It was ugly-beautiful, and
he could not bear it. He put his mouth on hers, and slowly, slowly the
response came, gathering force and passion, till it seemed to him she
was thundering at him till he could bear no more. He drew away, white,
unbreathing. Only, in his blue eyes, was something of himself
concentrated. And in her eyes was a little smile upon a black void.
She was drifting away from him again. And he wanted to go away. It was
intolerable. He could bear no more. He must go. Yet he was irresolute.
But she turned away from him.
With a little pang of anguish, of denial, it was decided.
“I’ll come an’ speak to the vicar to-morrow,” he said, taking his hat.
She looked at him, her eyes expressionless and full of darkness. He
could see no answer.
“That’ll do, won’t it?” he said.
“Yes,” she answered, mere echo without body or meaning.
“Good night,” he said.
“Good night.”
He left her standing there, expressionless and void as she was. Then
she went on laying the tray for the vicar. Needing the table, she put
the daffodils aside on the dresser without noticing them. Only their
coolness, touching her hand, remained echoing there a long while.
They were such strangers, they must for ever be such strangers, that
his passion was a clanging torment to him. Such intimacy of embrace,
and such utter foreignness of contact! It was unbearable. He could not
bear to be near her, and know the utter foreignness between them, know
how entirely they were strangers to each other. He went out into the
wind. Big holes were blown into the sky, the moonlight blew about.
Sometimes a high moon, liquid-brilliant, scudded across a hollow space
and took cover under electric, brown-iridescent cloud-edges. Then there
was a blot of cloud, and shadow. Then somewhere in the night a radiance
again, like a vapour. And all the sky was teeming and tearing along, a
vast disorder of flying shapes and darkness and ragged fumes of light
and a great brown circling halo, then the terror of a moon running
liquid-brilliant into the open for a moment, hurting the eyes before
she plunged under cover of cloud again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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