Cowboys -- Fiction; Ranch life -- Fiction; Texas -- Fiction; Western stories
"Just set on the front porch with her at night and make your eyes roll
up like a calf's that's being branded and kind of sigh heart-broken once
in a while," Bert volunteered. "It'll be easy when you get used to it--"
"If you know so much about it why don't you enlist yourself?" Skinny
asked irritably. "Some of you fellows go on and volunteer," he pleaded
dolefully.
"I would in a minute," Chuck chipped in, "if I was good-looking like
Skinny and had a white shirt--"
"What's a white shirt got to do with it?"
"Listen to the innocent child," Chuck laughed, "as if any darned fool
didn't know that the first thing a professional love-maker has to have
is a white shirt!"
"That settles it," Skinny declared with emphasis, "I won't wear a white
shirt to make love to no blamed woman--"
"Chuck's locoed," the Ramblin' Kid interposed; "you don't need to have
no white shirt--of course it would be better but it ain't downright
necessary--women don't fall in love with shirts, it's what's inside of
them."
"Where did you find out so much about women?" Bert queried.
"I didn't find out--I'm just guessin'--"
"There ain't no use arguing," Old Heck broke in. "Skinny will have to be
expert love-maker for that Carolyn June niece of mine--I'll allow him
ten dollars a month more wages while he's doing it. I ain't going to
have her writing letters to her pa and telling him she didn't have no
conveniences or nothing. Anyhow, she's young and I reckon it's sort of
necessary."
"What about th' other one--Ophelia Cobb or whoever she is?" Bert Lilly
asked.
"She's past the age for it, probably," Parker said uneasily.
"They don't pass it," the Ramblin' Kid interrupted laconically; "when
females get too old to want to be made love to they die--"
"I'd like to know where in hell a juvenile like you got your education
about women!" Bert insisted to the Ramblin' Kid.
"I ain't got none--I'm just guessing I told you," the other replied,
"but it's the truth, anyhow."
"Well, if I've got to make love to the young one Old Heck or Parker or
somebody's got to do it for the other one," Skinny declared positively.
"Ophelia don't need it," Old Heck said hastily, "she's a widow and has
done been--"
"Widows are th' worst," the Ramblin' Kid drawled; "they've had
experience an' don't like to give it up."
"Th' Ramblin' Kid's right," Chuck broke in. "I read a book once that
said that's the way they are. It's up to Old Heck or Parker to represent
Cupid to the widow--"
"Who the hell's Cupid?" Skinny asked curiously.
"He's a dangerous little outlaw that ain't got no reg'lar range," the
Ramblin' Kid answered for Chuck.
"I'll not do it--" Old Heck and Parker spoke at once.
"Then I won't either," Skinny declared flatly, "I'll quit the dog-goned
Quarter Circle KT first!"
"Let Sing Pete make love to the widow," Bert suggested.
"No, no! Me busy cookee," Sing Pete, who had been listening from the
open doorway, jabbered and darted, frightened, back into the house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account