Billy Louise had a wise little brain, for all she idealized life and
her surroundings out of all proportion to reality. She told herself
that if she married Ward with her doubts alive, her misery would be far
greater than if she gave him up, except as a friend. Of course, her
ideals stepped in there with an impracticable compromise. She brought
back the Ward Warren of her "pretend" life. She dreamed of him as a
mutely adoring friend who stood and worshiped her from afar, and
because of his sins could not cross the line of friendship.
If he were a rustler, she would shield him and save him, if that were
possible. He would love her always--Billy Louise could not conceive of
Ward transferring his affections to another less exacting woman--and he
would be grateful for her friendship. She could build long, lovely
scenes where friendliness was put to the front bravely, while love hid
behind the mask and only peeped out through the eyes now and then. She
did not, of course, plan all this in sober reason; she just dreamed it
with her eyes open.
It had been in such a spirit that she had written to Ward; though he
would undoubtedly have read love into the lines and so have been
encouraged in the planning of that house with the wide porch in front!
She had dreamed all the way home of seeing Ward at the end of the
journey. Perhaps he would come out and help her down from the stage,
when it stopped at the gate, and call her Bill-Loo--never once had Ward
spoken her name as others spoke it, but always with a twist of his own
which made it different, stamped with his own individuality--and he
would walk beside her to the house and comfort her with his eyes, and
never mention mommie till she herself opened the way to her grief.
Then he would call her Wilhemina-mine in that kissing way he had--
Someone came upon the doorstep and stood there for a moment, stamping
snow off his feet. Billy Louise caught her breath and waited, her eyes
veiled with her lashes and shining expectantly. A little color came
into her cheeks. Ward had been delayed somehow, but he was coming now
because she needed him and he wanted her--
It was only John Pringle, heavy-bodied, heavy-minded, who came in and
squeaked the door shut behind him. Billy Louise gave him a glance and
dropped her head back on the red cushion. "Hello, John!" she greeted
tonelessly.
John grinned, embarrassed between his pleasure at seeing Billy Louise
and his pity for her trouble. His white teeth showed a little under
his scraggy, breath-frosted mustache.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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