"I'm not very religious, darling," my wife said, "but from what I
remember from Sunday School, God wasn't supposed to be a tattle-tale.
He'll take care of Von Bieberstein, if there is such a person."
I laughed. "If there isn't, the F.B.I.'s going to look awfully silly
when they come to write the history books. J. Edgar Hoover would turn
over in his job at the very thought."
"You know," she continued drowsily, "I think that Von Bieberstein is
just a name they've given to all the things they can't solve. Like
luck. You know the way people say, 'Bad Luck!' Well, the F.B.I. says
'Von Bieberstein' every time a ship sinks or a factory makes the wrong
kind of shell. You wait and see, Winnie, and you'll find out I am
right."
"Speaking of luck," I asked, "What's the news from the kennels? Has
Ponto met his fiancee yet or haven't the banns been published?"
"Dalrymple seemed to think that it would be very easy to equip him with
a suitable girl friend," she said demurely. "It appears that there's a
war-time shortage of sires or something, so I gather that there's no
particular problem in Ponto's love-life. Dalrymple said we could come
and get him the end of the week--Friday or Saturday. Poor dear. I think
we ought to put orange blossoms in his dog-biscuit when he gets home."
I laughed. "That's one load off my mind. I hope you're right and that
it will steady him down. They say that the responsibilities of marriage
do wonders for a young dog. It makes him respect property, maintain the
social order, and vote the straight Republican ticket."
"Idiot!"
"Yes, I'm thinking of running Ponto in the next election. He'd make a
mighty fine Governor and he'd be sure to leave his mark in the Senate.
Who knows, we might even elect him President."
Germaine stretched again, with considerable candor. "Darling," she
announced, "you're dithering. Let's go to bed."
"Not until we get this religious argument straightened out," I
objected. "I think I owe it to Mr. Smith to make some kind of move. The
politicians and the psychiatrists have failed me. There's only religion
left. And besides, I still have half of my drink to finish."
I put another birch-log on the fire and watched as the flames
brightened and cast a flickering glow on the canopy of my wife's bed.
"My idea's this," I told her. "It's very undignified to sit around
waiting for the Old Man to look me up, if He's really trying to find
me, as Smith says. I think I'd better start a search party of my
own. There are no doubt a lot of things He'll want to ask me about,
but there are some points on which, damn it! I'm entitled to an
explanation."
"You talk such rot, darling," she murmured. "Wise gods never explain
anything. It's take it or leave it. You just wait. You'll see."
"I'd like to know who Von Bieberstein is, just to get ahead of A. J.
Harcourt. If the Old Man won't tell me that, at least I'm entitled to
know who I am."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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