I slipped on my coat and hat and stepped out through a French window
which led from the living-room to the inevitable paved stone terrace.
There were galvanized iron fittings for a summer awning and in the
center was a cute little bronze sun-dial. This had an exclamation point
and the inscription, "Over the Yard-Arm" at the place where noon should
be, and a bronze cocktail glass instead of the sign for four p.m. All
the way around the rest of the circle was written in heavy embossed
capitals, "The Hell With It!"
My meditations on this facet of the Tompkins character--and I wondered
whether I oughtn't to spell 'facet' with a u'--were interrupted by
Myrtle.
"Oh, Mr. Tompkins," she called from the kitchen window, in complete
repudiation of her earlier appearance as Watson, third lady's maid at
Barony Castle, "the man from the kennels is here with Ponto. Where
shall I tell him to take the dog?"
I hurried back indoors--there was still a chill in the air and I really
prefer my trees with their clothes on--and found a gnarled little man
who reeked of saddle-soap and servility.
"Well, sir, Mr. Tompkins," he beamed the Old Retainer at me. "That
dog of yours had a close call, a mighty close call. Thought he was a
sure-enough goner. Tried everything: injections, oxygen, iron lung,
enema. No dice. Then yesterday afternoon he just lay down and went to
sleep and I thought, 'My! Won't Mr. Tompkins feel bad!' But he woke
up, large as life and twice as natural, and began carrying on so that
I guess he wanted to come home to his folks. He's a mite weak, Mr.
Tompkins, very weak I might say, but he'll get well quicker here than
at my place and I'll pop in every other day to keep track of him. Never
did see anything like the recovery that dog made in all my born days.
Now about his bowels--"
I waited until he had to draw a breath and made swift to congratulate
him on his professional skill. "I wouldn't have lost Ponto for a
thousand dollars," I said. "Let's get him out of your car and up in my
bedroom," I added. "He's been like a member of the family and--"
A series of deep bass backs interrupted me, followed by ominous
sounds of a heavy body hurling itself recklessly around inside a small
enclosed space.
"There!" said the vet. "He recognized your voice. Come on, Ponto. I'll
fetch you. He's pretty weak, Mr. Tompkins, but he'll get strong fast if
you feed him right."
The vet twinkled out the front door and returned shortly, leading a
perfectly enormous coal-black Great Dane on a plaited leather leash.
Ponto did not look very weak to me, but I've always been fond of dogs
and I figured that kindness to animals might count in my favor. "Good
dog," I condescended. "Poor old fellow!"
The poor old fellow gave a low but hungry growl and lunged for me with
bared teeth, dragging the vet behind him like a dory behind a fishing
schooner. I jumped into the den and slammed the door, while Ponto
sniffed, snapped and grumbled on the far side of my defenses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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