The Real Diary of a Real BoyShute, Henry A. (Henry Augustus)
General
The Real Diary of a Real Boy
Shute, Henry A. (Henry Augustus)
Boys -- Fiction; Diary fiction
Mar. 29, 186- The toads has come out. fine warm day. me and Potter
Gorham have been ketching toads this afternoon. they sit in the pudles
and peep. folks think it is frogs but most of it is toads. Potter got
23 and i got 18. tonite i put my toads in a box in the kitchen after the
folks went to bed. in the night they all got out of the box and began to
hop round and peep mother heard it and waked father and they lissened.
when i waked up father was coming threw my room with a big cane and a
little tin lamp. he had put on his britches and was in his shirt tale,
and i said, what are you going to lick me for now i havent done nothing
and he said, keep still there is some one down stairs and mother said
dont go down George and father said, lissen i can hear him giving a
whistle for his confedrit, i will jump in and give him a whack on the
cokonut. i had forgot all about the toads and you bet i was scart. well
father he crep down easy and blowed out his lite and opened the door
quick and jest lammed round with his club. then i heard him say what in
hell have i stepped on, bring a lite here. then i though of the toads
and you bet i was scarter than before, mother went down with a lite and
then i heard him say, i will be cussed the whole place is ful of toads.
then mother said did you ever. and father said he never did, and it was
some more of that dam boys works and he yelled upstairs for me to come
down and ketch them. so i went down and caught them and put them out all
but 2 that father had stepped on and they had to be swep up. then all
the folks came down in their nitegounds and i went up stairs lively and
got into bed and pulled the clothes round me tite, but it dident do
enny good for father came up and licked me. he dident lick me very hard
becaus i gess he was glad it wasent a berglar and if it hadent been for
me it might have been berglars insted of toads.
Mar. 30. brite and fair, went out with Potter Gorham. saw some toads 2
robins and a blewbird. gosh it makes a feller feel good to see birds and
toads and live things.
Mar. 31. April fool day tomorrow. i am laying for Beany. old Francis
licked 5 fellers today becaus they sung rong when we was singing speek
kindly it is better far to rule by luv than feer.
April 1. auful cold and rainy. i was going to wright a love letter to
Beany and sine Lizzie Toles name to it but i told father about it for
fun and he said that it was fourgery and that i cood be prostecuted and
sent to jale. so i dident. tonite me and Beany rung five door bells for
april fool.
April 2. been trying to get rid of some warts. Pewt says if you hook
a piece of pork after dark, rub it on the warts and say arum erum irum
orum urum and nurum 3 times turn round twice and throw the pork thru a
window, then the warts will all be gone the next day. me and Beany is
going to try it tomorrow.
April 3. brite and fair. dident get a chance to hook the pork.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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