The Real Diary of a Real BoyShute, Henry A. (Henry Augustus)
General
The Real Diary of a Real Boy
Shute, Henry A. (Henry Augustus)
Boys -- Fiction; Diary fiction
May 5, 186- Saw a bully fite today. Cris Staples and Charlie Clark.
Charlie is visiting his uncle J. Albert Clark, the feller that we
sassed. that is he said we did but we dident. Charlie is a city feller,
he lives in Chelsy and think he knows a pile about things and gets mad
if we call him names. now every feller who amounts to anything has
a nickname, and some of them have 2 or 3. my nicknames are Plupy and
Skinny and Polelegs, and Beany is called Bullethead and sometimes Fatty.
i told Charlie that if i called him Charlie the fellers would call him
sissy or Mary and he better agree to let me call him bulldog or tomcat
or diddly or gobbler or some nickname whitch wood mean something. but
he said he would lam the head off of enny feller which called him names.
well you jest see what trouble he got into for not having a nickname. he
would have knowed better than that if he hadent lived in Chelsy.
Well today me and Charlie was setting on his steps. Beany was mad
because i was going with Charlie and he had gone riding with his father
and he felt pretty big because his father let him drive. well while we
were setting there along came Cris Staples who carries papers for Lane
and Rollins store, and Cris hollered over, hullo Polelegs. Charlie
hadent heard enyone call me Polelegs. and i said, i woodent stand that
if i was you Charlie, now less see you lam the head off of him, and
Charlie he started across the road and walked up to Cris and said who
in time are you calling Polelegs and Cris wasent going to back down and
said, you, and Charlie said jest drop them papers and i will nock your
face rite off, and Cris dropped his papers and they went at it. it was
the best fite i have seen this year. they fit from Mr. Head's down to
Gim Ellisons corner, and Cris licked time out of Charlie, and Charlie
began to yell and give up and then Cris let go of his hair and told him
he was to smart, and that it was me he was calling Polelegs and not him,
and he better not be so smart another time, and Cris he picked up his
papers and went off with a great slit in his jacket and his necktie
way round on one side, and Charlie came home howling and Aunt Clark,
Charlie's grandmother came out and said, that is what you get Charlie
for quareling. see how much better Harry feels, and i said, yes mam.
Charlie is never going to speak to me again.
May 7. Beany was pretty mad when I told him about the fite because he
dident see it. i gess he will find it don't pay to get mad with me. i
saw Charlie today but he dident speak. he has got a black eye. Cris has
got a funny looking nose on one side.
May 8. Chitter Robinson went in swiming today. i bet it was cold.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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