"This war is a good deal like baseball gentlemen because it is stratejy
that wins and no matter how many soldiers a gen. has got he won't get
nowheres without he uses his brains and its the same in baseball and the
boys that stays in the big league is the boys that can think and when this
war is over I hope to go back and begin where I left off and win a pennant
for Charley Comiskey the old Roman in the American League."
Well Al they was a regular storm when I got through and I bowed and give
them a smile and started off of the platform but a sargent named Avery
from our Co. stopped me and set me down in a chair and says I was to
wait a minute and I thought of course they was going to give me a cup or
something though I didn't expect nothing of the kind but I hadn't no sooner
set down when Sargent Avery stepped up to the front of the platform and
says "Gentlemen I want to say to you that Private Jack Keefe the great
stratejest is not only a great pitcher and a great speech maker but he
is also a great poet and if you don't believe me I will read you this
beautiful valentine that he wrote to a certain lady that we all admire and
who was in the Red X canteen up till today when she went back to Paris to
resume other dutys."
Well before I could make a move he read that crazy valentine and of course
they wasn't a word in it that I was serious when I wrote it and it was all
a joke with me only not exactly a joke neither because I was really trying
to let the little lady down easy and tell her good by between the lines
without being rough with it. But of course these boobs pretended like they
thought I meant it all and was love sick or something and they hollered
like a bunch of Indians and clapped and razed he--ll.
Well Al I didn't get a chance to see Sargent Avery after it was over
because he blowed right out but I will see him tomorrow and I will find out
from him who stole that poem from Miss Moselle and I wouldn't be supprised
if the reason she blowed to Paris was on acct. of missing the poem and
figureing some big bum had stole it off her and they would find out her
secret and make things misable for her and the chances is that's why she
blowed. Well wait till I find out who done it and they will be one less
snake in this regt. and the sooner you weed those kind of birds out of the
army you will get somewheres and if you don't you won't.
But the poor little lady Al I can't help from feeling sorry for her and
I only wished I could go to Paris and find her and tell her to not worry
though of course its best if she don't see me again but I'm sorry it had
to come off this way.
Your pal, JACK.
* * * * *
_Somewheres in France, Feb. 18._
FRIEND AL: Well Al this may be the last letter you will ever get from me
because I am waiting now to find out what they are going to do with me and
I will explain what I mean.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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