Alexandra, Empress, consort of Nicholas II, Emperor of Russia, 1872-1918
Revovka was an entrancing home for a child blessed, as I was, with an
imaginative temperament. We had our particular White Lady, a tragic
phantom who haunted the Park, and who used to swing in the branches of
the lime trees. She had been the mistress of one of my great-uncles, and
she was buried in the Park. No one seemed to know her fate, but it was
said that she was beautiful and unhappy. Her grave was marked with a
flat stone, without any inscription, as the poor little creature had
sought refuge from love and life in self-destruction. But Nature was
kinder to her than Man, and an enormous bush of wild roses threw out
caressing arms towards the cold stones, and showered pink petal-tears on
the unhonoured dead.
There was a similar forgotten grave on my father’s property, formerly a
hunting-box of the Kings of Poland. The occupant of this grave had been
the mistress of a king, and, like the beauty of Revovka, she had killed
herself; but she was a restless spirit, and she used to haunt the Park
and the house in the summer, running swiftly across the greensward,
wearing little scarlet slippers and darting up the staircase, her
scarlet heels tap-tapping as she went her way, unsubstantial and
fantastic as the morning mist.
I used to dream all kinds of dreams, but I never anticipated what
Destiny held in store for me. I was, by nature, timid; I was to become
courageous through force of another’s shining example. I was to see and
experience the real meaning of selfless love, and I was to know the
comfort and beauty of religion. I do not say that I was irreligious--few
Russians are really irreligious--our Belief is too deeply rooted--but I
did not yet understand the meaning of the word Faith.
I always looked forward to our yearly pilgrimage to the Convent of
Tchigrin, twenty-five miles away from Revovka. Custom ordained that we
should proceed thither on foot, but the carriage invariably went with
us! The convent contained a miraculous Virgin which, when the Turks
pillaged Tchigrin, had been taken away by them. One day a disconsolate
nun walking on the river’s bank saw something floating on the surface of
the water. The Virgin had returned to her convent, and from that time it
became the scene of wonderful miracles, and many pilgrimages. I liked
Tchigrin; it breathed an atmosphere of calm, standing alone in the midst
of dense pine woods. But the wind, which respects neither convents nor
humanity, was occasionally unkind to Tchigrin, as it swept away the sand
which filled the crevices of the walls, almost like natural mortar, and
the nuns daily brought bags of sand wherewith to repair the damage. This
sand-carrying was an especial duty connected with Tchigrin, and
occasionally it was a penance--but I think those simple creatures rarely
deserved punishment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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