United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
She desisted from her purpose and restored the pin to its place
in obedience to a sign from him, which told her that he thoroughly
understood the case, and had a more effective way of dealing with
it than the thrust of a pin point.
“I'm very much afraid that this is a dangerous case we have here,
Miss Bond,” he said in a stage whisper, as if very anxious that
the patient should not overhear. “Yes, a very dangerous case.”
Jake grew pale, released Rachel's hand, turned over on his side
and groaned.
“Do you really think so, Doctor?” said Rachel in the same tone.
“Yes, really. It's as clear a case of de gustibus non disputandum
as I ever saw in my life.”
“O, Lordie, hev I got all of that?” asked Jake, as he sat bolt
upright, with eyes starting.
“It is my unpleasant duty to tell you that you certainly have,”
said the Doctor, gravely. “As plainly indicated as I ever saw it.
Furthermore, it is seriously complicated with fiat justitia ruat
caelum, with strong hints of the presence of in media tutissimus
ibis.”
“Great Scott! can I ever get well?” groaned poor Jake. Rachel's
strain was on her risibles, and to make her face express only
sympathy and concern.
“And,” continued the remorseless Surgeon, in a tone of the kindliest
commiseration, “in the absence of the least espirt de corps, and
dulce et decorum est pro patria mori feeling in you it is apparent
that none of your mental processes are going on properly, which
deranges everything.”
“Can't I be sent home to die?” whimpered the wretched Jake.
“Not in your present condition. I notice, in addition to what I
have told you, that your heart is not right--its action is depraved,
so to speak.” This with a glance at Rachel, which brought the
crimson to that damsel's cheek.
“O, Doctor, please try to do something for me right off, before I
get any worse,” pleaded Jake, with the tears starting in his eyes.
Rachel took this opportunity to slip away to where she could laugh
unobserved. The Surgeon's facial muscles were too well trained to
feel any strain. he continued in the same tone of gentle consideration:
“I have already ordered the preparation of some remedies. The Steward
will be here in a few minues with the barber, who will shave your
head, that we may apply a couple of fly-bisters behind your ears.
They are also spreading a big mustard-plaster in th dispensary for
you, which will cover your whole breast and stomach. These, with
a strong dose of castor-oil, may bring you around so that you will
be able to go back to duty in a short time.”
Jake did not notice the unsheathed sarcasm in the Surgeon's allusion
to returning to duty. He was too delighted with the chance of
escaping all the horrors enumerated to think of aught else, and he
even forgot to beg for Rachel to come and sit beside his bedside,
as he had intended doing, until the blisters began to remind him
that they stuck closer than a brother. After that he devoted his
entire attention to them, as a man is apt to.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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