United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
“I feel sorry for the poor lilies of the field that he comes near,”
sighed Kent, sympathetically. “He is like them now, in neither
toiling nor spinning, and yet how ashamed he must make them of
their inferior rainment.”
“Faugh! it makes me sick to see a dunghill like that strutting
around in feathers that belong to game birds.”
“O, no; no game bird ever wore such plumage as that. You must be
thinking of a peacock, or a bird-of-paradise.”
“Well, then, blast it, I hate to see a peacock hatched all at once
out of a slinking, roupy, barnyard rooster.”
“O, no; since circuses are out of the question now, we ought to
be glad of so good a substitute. It only needs a brass band, with
some colored posters, to be a genuine grand entry, with street
parade.”
Alspaugh's triumphal march had now brought him within a few feet
of them, but they continued to lounge indifferently on the musket
box upon which they had been sitting, giving a mere nod as recognition
of his presence, and showing no intention of rising to salute.
The glow of satisfaction faded from Alspaugh's horizon, and a cloud
overcast it.
“Here, you fellers,” he said angrily, “why don't ye git up an'
saloot? Don't ye know your business yit?”
“What business, Jake?” asked Kent Edwards, absently, paying most
attention to a toad which had hopped out form the cover of a budock
leaf, in search of insects for his supper.
Alspaugh's face grew blacker. “The business of paying proper
respect to your officers.”
“It hasn't occured to me that I am neglecting anything in that
line,” said Kent, languidly, shifting over to recline upon his
left elbow, and with his right hand gathering up a little gravel
to flip at the toad; “but maybe you are better acquainted with our
business than we are.”
Abe contributed to the dialogue a scornful laugh, indicative of a most
heartless disbelief in his superior officer's superior intellectuality.
The dark cloud burst in storm: “Don't you know,” said Alspaugh,
angry in every fiber, “that the reggerlations say that 'when an
enlisted man sees an officer approach, he will rise and saloot,
and remain standin' and gazin' in a respectful manner until the
officer passes five paces beyond him?' Say, don't you know that?”
Kent Edwards flipped a bit of gravel with such good aim that it
struck the toad fairly on the head, who blinked his bright eyes in
surprise, and hopped back to his covert. “I am really glad,” said
he, “to know that you have learned SOMETHING of the regulations.
Now, don't say another word about it until I run down to the company
quarters and catch a fellow for a bet, who wants to put up money
that you can never learn a single sentence of them. Don't say
another word, and you can stand in with me on the bet.”
“Had your head measured since you got this idea into it?” asked
Abe Bolton, with well-assumed interest.
“If he did, he had to use a surveyor's chain,” suggested Kent,
flipping another small pebble in the direction of the toad's retreat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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