“That don't bother me any more than it does a mountain to serve as a background for a nanny goat and a pair of sore-eyed mules!” “Yes, but the mountain sometimes has an opportunity to drop an avalanche on 'em.” At this point of the discussion they arrived at the company grounds, and had scarcely time to snatch up their guns and don their belts before the company moved out to take its place in the regimental line. The occasion of Lieutenant Alspaugh's elaborate personal ornamentation now manifested itself. By reason of Captain Bennett's absence, he was in command of the company, and was about to make his first appearance on parade in that capacity. Two or three young women, of the hollyhock order of beauty, whom he was very anxious to impress, had been brought to camp, to witness his apotheosis into a commanding officer. The moment, however, that he placed himself at the head of the company and drew sword, the chill breath of distrust sent the mercury of his self-confidence down to zero. It looked so easy to command a company when some one else was doing it; it was hard when he tried it himself. All the imps of confusion held high revel in his mind when he attempted to give the orders which he had conned until he supposed he had them “dead-letter perfect.” he felt his usually-unfailing assurance shrivel up under the gaze of hundreds of mercilessly critical eyes. He managed to stammer out: “ATTENTION, COMPANY! FORWARD, FILE RIGHT, MARCH!” But as the company began to execute the order, it seemed to be going just the opposite to what he had commanded, and he called out excitedly: “Not that way! Not that way! I said 'file right,' and you're going left.” “We are filing right,” answered some in the company. “You're turned around; that's what's the matter with you.” So it was. He had forgotten that when standing facing the men, he must give them orders in reverse from what the movement appeared to him. This increased his confusion, until all his drill knowledge seemed gone from him. The sight of his young lady friends, clad in masses of primary colors, stimulated him to a strong effort to recover his audacity, and bracing himself up, he began calling out the guide and step, with a noisy confidence that made him heard all over the parade ground: “Left! left! left! Hep! hep! hep! Cast them head and eyes to the right!”