France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Fiction; Historical fiction
The blow, and the insult with which he accompanied it, put an end for
the moment to my repentance. But short as was the distance across the
floor from the one door to the other, it gave me time to think again;
to remember that this was Louis; and that whatever cause I had had to
complain of him, whatever grounds to suspect that he was the tool of
others, no friend could have done more to assuage my wrath, nor the
most honest more to withhold me from entering on an impossible task.
Melting quickly, melting almost instantly, I felt with a kind of
horror that if kindness alone had led him to interpose, I had made him
the worst return in the world; in fine, before the outer door could be
opened to us, I repented anew. When the usher held it for me to pass,
I bade him close it, and, to Louis' surprise, turned, and, muttering
something, ran back. Before he could do more than utter a cry I was
across the vestibule; a moment, and I had the door of the Assembly
open.
Instantly I saw before me--I suppose that my hand had raised the latch
noisily--tiers of surprised faces all turned my way. I heard a murmur
of mingled annoyance and laughter. The next moment I was threading my
way to my place with the monotonous voice of the President in my ears,
and the scene round me so changed--from that low-toned altercation
outside, to this Chamber full of light and life, and thronged with
starers--that I sank into my seat, dazzled and abashed; and almost
forgetful for the time of the purpose which brought me thither.
A little, and my face grew hotter still; and with good reason. Each of
the benches on which we sat held three. I shared mine with one of the
Harincourts and M. d'Aulnoy, my place being between them. I had
scarcely taken it five seconds, when Harincourt rose slowly, and,
without turning his face to me, moved away down the gangway, and,
fanning himself delicately with his hat, assumed a leaning position
against a desk with his gaze on the President. Half a minute, and
D'Aulnoy followed his example. Then the three behind me rose, and
quietly and without looking at me found other places. The three before
me followed suit. In two minutes I sat alone, isolated, a mark for all
eyes; a kind of leper in the Assembly!
I ought to have been prepared for some such demonstration. But I was
not, and my cheeks burned, as if the curious looks to which I was
exposed were a hot fire. It was impossible for me, taken by surprise,
to hide my embarrassment; for, wherever I gazed, I met sneering eyes
and contemptuous glances; and pride would not let me hang my head. For
many minutes, therefore, I was unconscious of everything but that
scorching gaze. I could not hear what was going forward. The
President's voice was a dull, meaningless drawl to me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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