AGNUS (_laughing boisterously_) Well, that’s settled anyway—Bacon didn’t do it, after all— THE DEVIL Yes, he did—I was Bacon, too. AGNUS (_with ironical politeness_) Been anybody lately? THE DEVIL Bernard Shaw was my last appearance. Just before my last trip to Mars. I see he’s made good use of the plays I wrote for him; produced some very good imitations; caught my style, so to speak. I was sorry to leave Shaw. I was having rather better success waking up the world than usual. But I simply _had_ to go back to Mars— AGNUS (_with increasing irony_) Really? Why? THE DEVIL It’s my home. When news came there some ten thousand years ago that man was evolving into a thinking brute, the Martians realized the dawning intellect would need a guide. I was the most ignorant of all Martians—I had tried to lead a revolt to make the body independent of the spirit. So, instead of going on to a higher mental state—my soul transferred from planet to planet until finally I should reach the Sun, which is the perfection of the soul—instead of that, I was sentenced to stand still for ten thousand years; to act as the link between Mars and the Earth; to make men fit for Mars, d’you understand? AGNUS (_faltering_) _One_ of us is insane, that is certain. THE DEVIL Mars, you will remember, is red. That’s where your dim poetic devil-makers got their hell-fire from. [_Agnus holds his head._ THE DEVIL The only true thing they tell about me is that I tempted man through woman to wisdom. I have been hated and reviled as wisdom always is. But my sentence of exile will soon be over—the ten thousand years will soon be up—and then I can quit ridiculous man forever and go to school again to fit myself for the Sun. [_The light darts impatiently around._ THE DEVIL I wish that ridiculous Dutchman’s soul would quit bothering me! (_To the light_) Isn’t it enough that you’ve got me hiding from the police, you imbecilic disembodied spirit? (_To Agnus_) Who was that handsome fellow in the velvet jacket who just ran out of here? I’ve been following him about for days hoping he’ll ask my help. Then I could give this preposterous paunch back to that light comedian over there. (_Points to light_) And I hope the police get it. AGNUS You’re a scientific kind of a lunatic, right enough. Souls do leave their bodies during sleep or hypnotism or— THE DEVIL (_satirically_) Oh, you’ve discovered that, have you? Only fancy! AGNUS An ordinary lunatic would have pretended he could change himself into _anything_, if he was The Devil— THE DEVIL As soon as I take human shape, naturally I’m bound by human laws. And each time I get back from Mars, I must circulate around until some one calls for me. There are always plenty of people calling for The Devil. And then I have no choice—I must take the first I hear and change when I can. And so I’m chained to this refugée until I get something better—like that velvet-jacket fellow’s body, for instance. (_Suddenly_) Is he married?