The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical ComedyBronson-Howard, George
Philosophy
The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical Comedy
Bronson-Howard, George
Devil -- Drama; Long Island (N.Y.) -- Drama
THE DEVIL (_whispering to Agnus_)
Magnus?
[_Agnus looks up despondently and nods._
THE DEVIL (_to Mrs. Felix, forgetting himself_)
No mistaking you: you’re one of my trained women. Any child you will
have—will be worth watching—
MRS. FELIX (_taken aback_)
What! What’s this? What? My poor boy! (_She puts her hand on The
Devil’s shoulder_)
FANNY
Addington doesn’t need your pity, mother!
THE DEVIL (_recollecting himself_)
Mother? Fanny’s mother! Oh, but that must have been when you were just
a favorite of the harem!
MRS. FELIX (_in amazement_)
Whatever has come over you? You—why, you—well—_you_ of all men! (_She
seats herself, staring at him with a sort of fascination_)
THE DEVIL
Your husband—
FANNY
We’ve had enough of poor father for one day, Addington. Let him rest in
his grave!
THE DEVIL
In his grave—good! I must find you another husband. One worthy of you.
For she (_indicates Fanny_) must be taking after her father.
MRS. FELIX (_rises and goes concernedly to The Devil; puts her hand
on his shoulder_) Boy, boy, what is it? _What_ is it? (_Suddenly_)
Addington, will you leave the room for a moment and (_looking at
Agnus_) take this gentleman with you? I wish to speak privately with—
THE DEVIL
You had plenty of time to speak privately with—before you came in. You
think I’ve gone mad, don’t you?
[_Mrs. Felix steps back, showing that she does._
THE DEVIL
You think Fanny’s driven me crazy by making me take Magnus’s offer?
Eh? (_Laughs_) Although, who knows? I’ve been called mad many times
before. Wisdom is always madness to the ignorant—and anyone too wise
for them to understand is a madman. Does this look like a madman?
(_Turns to Fanny_) I won’t take Magnus’s offer and I won’t marry you.
MAGNUS (_in amazement_)
You decline—after just accepting?
THE DEVIL
Without thanks! (_To Mrs. Felix, with an air of dismissal_) I hope to
see you soon again. Meanwhile, I’ll start hunting that husband for you.
(_He smiles amiably while all stare at him speechlessly: all animated
by the steadily growing conviction that he is utterly insane—although
his final words impress Mrs. Felix_)
MRS. FELIX (_after a breathless pause_)
It’s only a spell. It’ll pass. (_To Agnus_) A trip’s what you need—a
_long_ trip. No work. No thinking. Just rest.
THE DEVIL (_amused_)
Still diagnosing insanity?
MRS. FELIX
Oh, no! Everyone has restless spells. The excitement of the Nobel
prize—Mr. Magnus’s offer—Fanny—
FANNY
Don’t blame me, mother. I’m sure this is just what I expected—keeping
at those horrid microscopes day and night. It was for his own good I
advised him to accept.
THE DEVIL
Don’t lie, Fanny.
[_Agnus, agonized, makes gestures for The Devil to stop._
FANNY (_scandalized_)
Addington! If I thought you were responsible for what you’re saying—
THE DEVIL
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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