The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical ComedyBronson-Howard, George
Philosophy
The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical Comedy
Bronson-Howard, George
Devil -- Drama; Long Island (N.Y.) -- Drama
THE DEVIL (_looks at it meditatively_)
I don’t know but what you’re right, Magnus. After I start training
you—she might be able to complete the training—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_viewing Mrs. Felix with approval_) Suits me!
[_The light darts as viciously at Schwartzenhopfel as the latter once
did when he was in Magnus’s condition._
THE DEVIL (_to the light_)
I meant you—Magnus—
[_The light hovers, sullenly suspicious._
THE DEVIL (_to all_)
And—now—good day to all of you. Schwartzenhopfel and I are about to do
some important work together. (_Puts his arm on Agnus’s shoulder_) So
we must ask you to excuse us.
DOLL BLONDIN
And what about me?
THE DEVIL
Aren’t the rooms good?
[_Doll Blondin nods._
THE DEVIL
And the food?
[_Doll Blondin nods again._
THE DEVIL
And the service?
DOLL BLONDIN
Yes—but—
THE DEVIL
Then what about you? And as for amusement: why, there’s Magnus. (_He
points to Schwartzenhopfel. Then he goes, almost dragging Agnus with
him_)
[_Agnus’s head is turned, with lack-lustre eyes, toward Fanny. They
pass out through the folding-doors, closing these behind them._
TROMPER (_whose indignation has been mounting, now vents himself
explosively_) Well, damn his nerve! I beg your pardon, ladies. Mr.
Magnus, you let a whippersnapper doctor talk that way to you? You! Why,
sir, I wouldn’t—I actually wouldn’t permit you to talk that way to me!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_viciously_)
You wouldn’t?
TROMPER (_nervously_)
With all respect: no, sir.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
Then you’re discharged.
TROMPER (_thunderstruck_)
Have you gone crazy, Mr. Magnus? Discharged? After twenty-five
years’service? After saving you hundreds of thousands of dollars?
MRS. FELIX (_putting her hand on his shoulder_)
John, that’s petty! That’s small, John. I never knew you to be petty or
small before.
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Mrs. Felix_)
Wait! (_To Tromper_) Saving? How?
TROMPER (_stuttering_)
Why, the Churchstead strike alone—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_militantly_)
Strike! Ha! Go on! What did you do?
TROMPER (_miserably_)
You know well enough what I did, sir—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
Tell me anyhow—
TROMPER
I locked ’em out, the bums!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
What did they want? Just union rates, union hours; white men’s pay,
white men’s hours; not nigger slaves—?
MRS. FELIX (_admiringly_)
Bravo, John! You ’re shaping up!
[_The light moves closer, as if listening intently._
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_nodding_)
I told you to wait! (_To Tromper_) You beat them, didn’t you?
TROMPER
And a tough job! Strike-breakers weren’t enough—
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_to Mrs. Felix_)
New York thugs, gunmen—with brass knuckles, hand spikes, and
automatics—licensed to bruise, maim and kill—
TROMPER
Weren’t the strikers breaking windows and burning fences? Didn’t they
threaten to burn the works?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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