The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical ComedyBronson-Howard, George
Philosophy
The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical Comedy
Bronson-Howard, George
Devil -- Drama; Long Island (N.Y.) -- Drama
Don’t trifle with a broken man, sir. My university is in your debt. The
Judge is your mouthpiece. What you tell him to ask, my university will
not dare to refuse!
MAGNUS
I will tell the Judge nothing!
VANILLITY (_gasping_)
I—I—what, sir?
MAGNUS
But I _will_ tell the president of your university that he is old
enough to be a President Emeritus—with a pension—and I will name his
successor—(_pauses_) Professor Thomas Vanillity—
VANILLITY (_trembling_)
I can’t believe it, sir. You’re amusing yourself with me.
[_Magnus shakes his head._
VANILLITY (_desperately_)
Then—why?
MAGNUS
For proving you are not of Judge Critty’s stripe; for risking your
position at your age; for braving the anger of the rich and powerful,
to save your friend. We need such men as you to work with us—(_smiling
and holding out his arm toward Mrs. Felix_) the future Mrs. Magnus and
I—
[_Mrs. Felix comes forward._
MAGNUS
Loo!
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_nods toward the Red Light_)
Your promise!
MAGNUS (_remembers and motions Mrs. Felix back_) One minute! (_Then
sits down at the desk and takes out his check-book_)
AGNUS (_warmly_)
Mr. Magnus, the Professor feels too strongly to speak. (_He pats
Vanillity on back; then turns to Fanny_) Fanny!
[_Schwartzenhopfel nudges him._
AGNUS (_turning from Fanny_)
Eh?
SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_lifts his eyes_)
Your promise!
AGNUS (_follows Schwartzenhopfel’s glance and sees the Red Light_) Oh,
yes—thanks. (_Raises his hand to hold Fanny back_)
MAGNUS (_twirling check over shoulder to dry it_)
The torn-up check, Agnus. (_Rises_) Loo! (_Puts his arm about Mrs.
Felix_)
[_The Red Light wags._
AGNUS (_deliberately seating himself with his eyes on the Red Light_)
Get the check, Fanny. (_He takes a cigarette from his case_)
FANNY
Yes, dear. (_She goes for it_)
[_Agnus places the cigarette in his mouth. Fanny returns with the
check._
AGNUS
A light, please—
FANNY
Yes, dear. (_She reaches for the cigar-lighter, turns it on and lifts
it forward to him_)
[_Agnus ignites the cigarette, looking at the Red Light. The Red Light
wags, pleaded. It is growing dark outside—an early winter’s evening. A
star appears._
AGNUS (_patting Fanny’s hand_)
That’s a good girl! I’m sure—now you’ve had your lesson, we’ll be very
happy together. (_He puffs at the cigarette_)
[_The Red Light flies out of the window and disappears._
CURTAIN
End of Project Gutenberg's The Red Light of Mars, by George Bronson-Howard
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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