France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Italy -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
She yielded, two years later, to Robert Le Menil, who had desired her
ardently, with all the warmth of his youth, with all the simplicity of
his mind. She said to herself: “I gave myself to him because he loved
me.” It was the truth. The truth was, also, that a dumb yet powerful
instinct had impelled her, and that she had obeyed the hidden impulse of
her being. But even this was not her real self; what awakened her
nature at last was the fact that she believed in the sincerity of his
sentiment. She had yielded as soon as she had felt that she was loved.
She had given herself, quickly, simply. He thought that she had yielded
easily. He was mistaken. She had felt the discouragement which the
irreparable gives, and that sort of shame which comes of having suddenly
something to conceal. Everything that had been whispered before
her about other women resounded in her burning ears. But, proud and
delicate, she took care to hide the value of the gift she was making. He
never suspected her moral uneasiness, which lasted only a few days, and
was replaced by perfect tranquillity. After three years she defended her
conduct as innocent and natural.
Having done harm to no one, she had no regrets. She was content. She was
in love, she was loved. Doubtless she had not felt the intoxication she
had expected, but does one ever feel it? She was the friend of the good
and honest fellow, much liked by women who passed for disdainful and
hard to please, and he had a true affection for her. The pleasure she
gave him and the joy of being beautiful for him attached her to this
friend. He made life for her not continually delightful, but easy to
bear, and at times agreeable.
That which she had not divined in her solitude, notwithstanding vague
yearnings and apparently causeless sadness, he had revealed to her.
She knew herself when she knew him. It was a happy astonishment. Their
sympathies were not in their minds. Her inclination toward him was
simple and frank, and at this moment she found pleasure in the idea of
meeting him the next day in the little apartment where they had met
for three years. With a shake of the head and a shrug of her shoulders,
coarser than one would have expected from this exquisite woman, sitting
alone by the dying fire, she said to herself: “There! I need love!”
CHAPTER II. “ONE CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE YOUNG!”
It was no longer daylight when they came out of the little apartment in
the Rue Spontini. Robert Le Menil made a sign to a coachman, and entered
the carriage with Therese. Close together, they rolled among the vague
shadows, cut by sudden lights, through the ghostly city, having in their
minds only sweet and vanishing impressions while everything around them
seemed confused and fleeting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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