France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Italy -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
circumstances: the flowers on the wall-paper and the pictures in the
room. She recalled the words, a little ridiculous and almost touching,
that he had said to her. But it seemed to her that the adventure had
occurred to another woman, to a stranger whom she did not like and whom
she hardly understood. And what had happened only a moment ago seemed
far distant now. The room, the lilacs in the crystal vase, the little
cup of Bohemian glass where she found her pins--she saw all these things
as if through a window that one passes in the street. She was without
bitterness, and even without sadness. She had nothing to forgive, alas!
This absence for a week was not a betrayal, it was not a fault against
her; it was nothing, yet it was everything. It was the end. She knew it.
She wished to cease. It was the consent of all the forces of her being.
She said to herself: “I have no reason to love him less. Do I love him
no more? Did I ever love him?” She did not know and she did not care to
know. Three years, during which there had been months when they had seen
each other every day--was all this nothing? Life is not a great thing.
And what one puts in it, how little that is!
In fine, she had nothing of which to complain. But it was better to end
it all. All these reflections brought her back to that point. It was not
a resolution; resolutions may be changed. It was graver: it was a state
of the body and of the mind.
When she arrived at the square, in the centre of which is a fountain,
and on one side of which stands a church of rustic style, showing its
bell in an open belfry, she recalled the little bouquet of violets that
he had given to her one night on the bridge near Notre Dame. They had
loved each other that day--perhaps more than usual. Her heart softened
at that reminiscence. But the little bouquet remained alone, a poor
little flower skeleton, in her memory.
While she was thinking, passers-by, deceived by the simplicity of her
dress, followed her. One of them made propositions to her: a dinner and
the theatre. It amused her. She was not at all disturbed; this was not a
crisis. She thought: “How do other women manage such things? And I, who
promised myself not to spoil my life. What is life worth?”
Opposite the Greek lantern of the Musee des Religions she found the soil
disturbed by workmen. There were paving-stones crossed by a bridge made
of a narrow flexible plank. She had stepped on it, when she saw at the
other end, in front of her, a man who was waiting for her. He recognized
her and bowed. It was Dechartre. She saw that he was happy to meet her;
she thanked him with a smile. He asked her permission to walk a few
steps with her, and they entered into the large and airy space. In this
place the tall houses, set somewhat back, efface themselves, and reveal
a glimpse of the sky.
He told her that he had recognized her from a distance by the rhythm of
her figure and her movements, which were hers exclusively.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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