Families -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Older people -- Fiction
“Them laughs best what laughs last,” said Aunt Mary’s handmaiden. She
turned away, and then returned to give Joshua a look that proved that
the peppery mistress had inculcated some cayenne into the souls of
those about her. “You mark my words—them laughs best what laughs last,
an’ there’ll be little grinnin’ for him if he ain’t a chalk-walker for
one while now.”
Joshua laughed.
But, as a matter of fact, Jack’s situation was suddenly become
extremely precarious.
“There ain’t no sense in it,” said Aunt Mary to herself, with an
emphasis that screwed her face up until she looked quite like Lucinda;
“that life those young men lead on their little vacations is to blame
for everything. Cities are wells of iniquity; they’re full of all kinds
of doin’s that respectable people wouldn’t be seen at, and I’m proud to
say that I haven’t been in one myself for twenty-five years. I’m a
great believer in keepin’ out of trouble, an’ if Jack’d just stuck to
college an’ let towns go, he’d never have met the cabman and the
Kalamazoo girl, an’ I’d have overlooked the cook an’ the cat. As it is,
my patience is done. If he goes into one more scrape he’ll be done too.
I mean what I say. So my young man had better take warnin’.
Probably—most likely—pretty certainly.”
Chapter Three
Introducing Jack
It has been previously stated that Aunt Mary’s nephew, Jack, was a
scapegrace, and as delightful as scapegraces generally are. It goes
without saying that he was good-looking; and of course he must have
been jolly and pleasant or he wouldn’t have been so popular. As a
matter of fact, Jack was very good-looking, unusually jolly, and
uncommonly popular. He was one of the best liked men in each of the
colleges which he had attended. There was something so winning about
his smile and his eternal good humor that no one ever tried to dislike
him; and if anyone ever had tried he or she would not have succeeded
for very long. It is probably very unfortunate that the world is so
full of this type of young man, but that which should cause us all to
have infinite patience with them is the reflection of how much more
unfortunate it would be if they were suddenly eliminated from the
general scheme of things.
Like all college boys, Jack had a chum. The chum was Robert Burnett,
another charming young fellow of one-and-twenty, whose education had
been so cosmopolitan in design and so patriotic in practice that he
always said “Sacre bleu” and “Donnerwetter” when he thought of it, and
“Great Scott” when he didn’t. He and Jack were as congenial a pair as
ever existed, and they had just about as much in common as the aunt of
the one and the father of the other had had to pay for.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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