Families -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Older people -- Fiction
“I don’t care,” said Mitchell, sawing into the game with vigor; “if we
go down we go down with Aunt Mary and if I were Uncle Mary I wouldn’t
feel happier and safer as to all concerned. The ship that bore Cæsar
and his fortune had nothing at all to bear compared to this which bears
Jack and his. Here’s to Jack and his fortune, and may we all survive
the dark blue sky.”
“I tell you it’s serious,” said Jack. As he spoke another ominous
heaving set the bottles tipping and nearly sent Clover backwards.
“And I’m serious,” exclaimed Mitchell. “I’m always serious only I never
can get any girl to believe it. Here’s to me, and may I grow more and
more serious each—”
A tremendous wave bore the yacht upright and then let her fall on her
forelegs again. Clover went over backwards and the dish of peas to
which he had just been helping himself followed after.
“You didn’t say ‘excuse me’ when you left the table,” said Mitchell,
whom the law of gravitation had suddenly raised to a pinnacle from
which he viewed his friends with mirthful scorn; “and if you’ve hurt
yourself it must be a judgment on you for leaving the table without
saying ‘excuse me.’ Here’s to Clover, who has a judgment and a dish of
peas served on him at the same time for leaving the table without
saying ‘excuse me.’”
The sailing-master appeared at the door, his cap in his hand.
“I beg your pardon, sir,” he said respectfully, “but I fear it’s
impossible to put back. We can’t turn without getting into the trough
of the sea.”
“All right, go ahead then,” said Mitchell; “go where we must go, and do
what you’ve got to do. My motto is _veni, vidi, vici_, which freely
translated means I can sleep asea when I can’t sleep ashore.”
“But Aunt Mary?” cried Jack blankly.
“She’s all right,” said Mitchell; “she’ll soon reach the cold burnt
toast stage and when she reaches the stage we’ll all welcome her into
any chorus. Here’s to choruses in general and one chorus girl in
particular. I haven’t met her yet, but I shall know her when I do, for
she will look at me. Up to now they’ve all looked elsewhere and at
other men. If my fortune was only in my face it might draw some
interest, but—”
“Lady Belle” careened violently and Clover went over backwards for the
second time with much in his wake.
“Oh, I say,” said Mitchell, rising in disgust, “if you want everything
on the table at once why take it. Only I’m going on deck. After you’ve
bathed in the gravy you can have it. Ditto the other liquids. Jack and
I are going up to dance a hornpipe and sing for Burnett. He looked
rather ennuyéd to me when we came down.”
Along toward eight o’clock that night “Lady Belle” anchored somewhere
in the Sound and tugged vigorously at her cables all night.
With the dawn she headed back towards New York.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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