The Relentless CityBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Relentless City
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
British -- United States -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
Charlie Brancepeth was sitting in a wooden summer-house on the lawn of
his mother's house at Brighton. It was set upon a pivot in the centre
of its floor, so that it could be turned with little effort to any
point of the compass, so as to face the sun and avoid the wind. In
it--so much, at any rate, he practised of the treatment which he had
compared to the fattening of a Strasburg goose--he passed the whole
day, only sleeping indoors. But this he did because it seemed to him a
very rational and sensible mode of life, soothing to the nerves, and
producing in him a certain outdoor stagnation of the brain. He did not
want to think; he wanted merely to be as quiet and drowsed as he could,
and not to live very long; for, since Sybil's final rejection of him,
the taste had gone out of life--temporarily it might be only--but while
that was still very new and bitter within him had come this fresh blow,
the discovery that he was suffering from tubercular disease of the
lungs. For some months before he had suspected this; then, soon after
the departure of Sybil and Bertie for America, he had had an attack
of influenza from which he did not rally well; he had a daily rise of
temperature, a daily intolerable lassitude, and his doctor, seeking
for the cause of this, had found it. Then, following his advice, he
tried a cure on the east coast of England, in which he had to get up at
the sound of a bell and proceed out of doors, there to remain all day
till a bell summoned him and the other patients in again. At frequent
intervals he had to eat large quantities of fattening food; at other
hours he had to walk quietly along a road. Work of all sorts, even
more than an hour or two's reading, was discouraged, and the days had
been to him a succession of nightmares, all presenting the same dull
hopelessness. So, after a fortnight of it, he decided to persevere with
it no more, and, if he had to die, to die. He had talked the thing out
once with his mother, and had promised to go to Davos for the winter,
if it was recommended to him, and in the interval to lead a mode of
life that was rational for his case without being unbearable. They both
agreed finally to dwell on the subject as little as possible in their
thoughts, and dismiss it altogether from their conversation.
Just now she was away for a day or two, and he was alone as he waited
for Sybil's arrival. That he was alone he had felt himself bound to
tell her, but he felt certain that she would come all the same. And
though he waited for her in a sort of anguish of expectation, he felt
that life, for the first time since the Sunday at Haworth at the end
of July, was interesting. What she would say to him, how he would take
it, even the vaguest predication of their intercourse, was beyond him
to guess. Indeed, it was scarcely worth while, he thought, trying to
conjecture what it would be. For Love and Death were near to him,
august guests.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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