The Relics of General Chasse: A Tale of AntwerpTrollope, Anthony
General
The Relics of General Chasse: A Tale of Antwerp
Trollope, Anthony
British -- Belgium -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Short stories
In the centre of the amphitheatre which the ladies formed sat the two
Misses Macmanus;—there, at least, they sat when they had completed the
process of shaking hands with me. To the left of them, making one wing
of the semicircle, were arranged the five pupils by attending to whom the
Misses Macmanus earned their living; and the other wing consisted of the
five ladies who had furnished themselves with relics of General Chassé.
They were my “compatriots.”
I was introduced to them all, one after the other; but their names did
not abide in my memory one moment. I was thinking too much of the
singularity of the adventure, and could not attend to such minutiæ. That
the red-rosed harpy was Miss Grogram, that I remembered;—that, I may say,
I shall never forget. But whether the motherly lady with the somewhat
blowsy hair was Mrs. Jones, or Mrs. Green, or Mrs. Walker, I cannot now
say. The dumpy female with the broad back was always called Aunt Sally
by the young ladies.
Too much sugar spoils one’s tea; I think I have heard that even
prosperity will cloy when it comes in overdoses; and a schoolboy has been
known to be overdone with jam. I myself have always been peculiarly
attached to ladies’ society, and have avoided bachelor parties as things
execrable in their very nature. But on this special occasion I felt
myself to be that schoolboy;—I was literally overdone with jam. My tea
was all sugar, so that I could not drink it. I was one among twelve.
What could I do or say? The proportion of alloy was too small to have
any effect in changing the nature of the virgin silver, and the
conversation became absolutely feminine.
I must confess also that my previous experience as to these compatriots
of mine had not prejudiced me in their favour. I regarded them with,—I
am ashamed to say so, seeing that they were ladies,—but almost with
loathing. When last I had seen them their occupation had reminded me of
some obscene feast of harpies, or almost of ghouls. They had brought
down to the verge of desperation the man whom of all men I most
venerated. On these accounts I was inclined to be taciturn with
reference to them;—and then what could I have to say to the Misses
Macmanus’s five pupils?
My cousin at first made an effort or two in my favour, but these efforts
were fruitless. I soon died away into utter unrecognised insignificance,
and the conversation, as I have before said, became feminine. And indeed
that horrid Miss Grogram, who was, as it were, the princess of the
ghouls, nearly monopolised the whole of it. Mamma Jones—we will call her
Jones for the occasion—put in a word now and then, as did also the elder
and more energetic Miss Macmanus. The dumpy lady with the broad back ate
tea-cake incessantly; the two daughters looked scornful, as though they
were above their company with reference to the five pupils; and the five
pupils themselves sat in a row with the utmost propriety, each with her
hands crossed on her lap before her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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