This makes it plain that, from Mrs. Eddy’s standpoint, the less mind, the better; the less mind, the more Christian Scientists; the more Christian Scientists, the more revenue; the more revenue, the greater glory for impostors and charlatans. And, oh, wonder of wonders! God here informs us, if Mrs. Eddy speak the truth, that the loss of a human leg will be but a temporary inconvenience when man has advanced to the high stage attained by the wholly mindless lobster! Again: “Man is the same after, as before, a bone is broken or a head chopped off.” And so, the head follows the lungs, and the blood, and the heart, and the brains, and the stomach, and the bowels, as useless members of the human body, if Mrs. Eddy speak the words of truth and inspiration. Again: “That life is sustained by food, drink, air, etc., that it is organic or in the least dependent upon matter or sustained by it, is a myth.” Mrs. Eddy teaches that there is no reality in matter. When she sits down at her table three times a day and puts into her immaterial and nonexistent stomach unrealities in the shape of bread and butter and beef steak and tea and coffee, and so on, life is sustained by the _belief_ that the food sustains life, and not by the food itself. It would be interesting to have Mrs. Eddy demonstrate in her own daily life that the partaking of what we grosser persons regard as food indispensable to the survival of the physical organism could be wholly dispensed with and life, notwithstanding, continue. And, finally, and I commend this precious gem of truth to those of my readers who are parents, be they fathers or mothers, and who agree with me that the loveliest of all lovely things in the world is the wholesome baby enjoying his morning bath: “The daily ablutions of an infant are no more natural or necessary than would be the process of taking a fish out of the water every day and covering it with dirt, in order to make it thrive more vigorously thereafter in its native element.” To bathe a baby is the same thing as to grab a fish out of the water and rub it all over with mud! If it were of mere “human origin,” Mrs. Eddy would “blush” to deliver herself of that beautiful and “absolute” truth. This twaddle inspired of God! And these selections, taken at random from Mrs. Eddy’s book of which, she says, not she but God was author, are of a piece with the thing as a whole. I am told, as I have said, that there are intelligent persons in Mrs. Eddy’s following, and yet such things as those I have quoted slap intelligence in the face from every page of her book; and her friends, nevertheless, persist in affirming, “Lo, the Lord’s anointed, God’s voice to this age!” “I cannot see,” says Mark Twain, “how any one contemplating Mrs. Eddy’s career can deny to the Divine Being the possession of a sense of humor.” God is so amused by Mrs. Eddy’s accomplishments that He is provoked to laughter, and Christian Science thus escapes the consuming fire of Divine wrath.