The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
It was not a sight to cause depression in the hungry human mind; neither
could that effect be got from a very well-browned backstone cake; which
mother allowed me to smell, before she put it back, to crisp a bit. Oh,
if she had only said, "My dear boy, put your belt on," what a difference
it would have made! But she never thought of it, any more than I did;
and I always tried not to think of it.
With all these things to set me up, and a holiday and a half to come,
out of the two ensuing days--for this was Friday afternoon--I set off,
rather at a dance than walk, with my arms thrown up, and lungs expanded;
and my broad-brimmed Leghorn giving flips at the wind, like a pigeon's
wing; and the tucks, and gathers, and quilted flounces of my blouse
lifting, and filling in the air, like clouds; and scarcely so much as a
thread of my curls--as mother was fond of expressing it--that did not
glisten in the sun, and hover like a crown of golden gossamer. Instead
of opening the gate, I flew over it, and could scarcely keep between the
walls below, and I heard mother calling,
"Oh, Tommy, dear Tommy, come back for your belt."
And I tried to do it; but the breeze was behind me, and I must go on.
Then, where the old weeping plane-tree stands, at the bottom of our
garden and enjoys the smoke, there was father on the bench, with his
back against the trunk, and his red plush waistcoat on, and a long
"churchwarden" in his mouth, and his favourite pewter waiting for the
stout, and his face so bright at seeing me, that I called out,
"Father is quite well again! As well as he ever was, in all his life!"
And he said--"Yes, Tommy, thank the Lord, I am. I've been thinking of
you all day, my boy. Come, and give me a kiss. Why, how wonderful you
look!"
For the joy was more than I could bear; and instead of being able to go
to him, I was lifted in a moment, from the surface of the earth, quicker
than I ever had gone up before. Now, the faster I go up, the faster I go
round,--this seems to be a law of my ascents--yet I do not remember to
have felt much fear; and indeed there was little to be afraid of, unless
it was a fall into our own chimneystacks. And in my vile stupidity, I
even called down--
"Now, father, now will you believe at last?"
Alas, that my very last words to him should have been of low, and
unfilial triumph! As I tried to look down at him, through the tree, to
show him how comfortable I was up there, I saw him rush out, with his
pipe in one hand, from the bower of the drooping branches; and he stood,
with his legs wide apart, and his hat off, and threw down his pipe, and
rubbed his eyes with both hands, and then lifted them up, and cried--
"The Lord forgive me--that He hath made a son of mine to fly!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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