The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
"But very soon, they found out the horrible meaning of it. For suddenly
the savages, having lost all patience, with their appetites whetted by
the relish of white flesh, fell upon them in the night, and killed them
all but three, leaving nothing but their bones by the morrow night.
Those three they kept alive, because they were too thin; until they
fattened up two, and devoured them. The third, and last, was our friend
Rees Edwards, who fell into a melancholy frame of mind, and refused to
grow eatable, upon any kind of ration. So they put him in the temple,
where they kept their chief idol, believing that this would improve his
texture, and consecrating him to be sacrificed, whether he were fat, or
whether he were lean, upon the appearance of the following moon.
"Edwards, however, was a very clever fellow, and pretending to be
altogether resigned to his fate, obtained some privileges, as a holy man
now, and devoted to the glory of their great idol, _Jumbilug_. He kept a
sharp watch upon the moon as well; and took strengthening victuals, as
he saw her getting thinner. He had learned a good deal of their lingo by
this time, and found out from them about the white man's fort, over
against the further end of that island. And the very night before the
new moon would appear, he slipped through a hole, which he had long been
boring in the mud wall of the joss-house, and escaped into the woods,
with a long start of his enemies. He made his way eastward by the stars,
till sunrise, and eastward the whole of the following day, with his
enemies upon his track, as you have heard already.
"'Now, captain,' he said, when his tale was finished; 'you have done me
the best turn one man can do another; and I wish I could make you some
small return. _Jumbilug_ is the finest woman I ever saw; and it would
not be so very hard to run away with her.'
"I told him, that this was not in my line at all, having always been shy
of the sex; except to make a joke, or pass a compliment. But he laughed,
and said--
"'No fear of her tongue, captain, although she has got a very handsome
one; and her teeth are all pearls, and her lips are coral, and her eyes
are as blue as the sky, and much brighter, and her hair is spun gold;
you never saw such a beauty.'
"'I don't care a d--n for all that,' I replied, 'a woman aboard is the
devil himself.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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