The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
The upshot of my very callow reflections, was that I determined, to
begin, at once, to improve my long dormant aerial gifts. Or rather, I
should say, my repressed, and snubbed, and even dreaded specialty, of
rising from the ground. Although my frame was firmer, and more weighty
than it used to be, and therefore less elastic, and expansive, than in
boyhood, there was room enough to hope, that some of, if not all these
losses might be retrieved, by care and skill, by regimen, strict diet,
and the increased power of the muscles. And if these proved
insufficient, there could be no doubt of one thing--a very little
artificial aid would liberate me, from the growing tyranny of
gravitation.
With all this in my mind, I went to bed, and dreamed a dream; which,
contrary to the usual laws of such visitants, became of the very
greatest service to me.
My conscience had reproached me, while I said my prayers, for a very
unworthy, and unjust reflection, upon Professor Megalow, as above set
down. From him, I had received the very greatest kindness; and to
imagine, that any party motives could have led him to dissuade me from
invading the upper firmament, was very mean and nasty of me, as well as
most absurd. He was not at all a partisan, or active politician, but
quietly held his opinions, upon reasons which satisfied him, and
therefore cannot have been weak ones. And my last thoughts, or nearly
so, having been about him, he appeared to me naturally in my sleep.
I dreamed, that I stood between Professor Megalow and my old enemy,
Professor Brachipod, in the schoolroom of the _Partheneion_. Dr.
Rumbelow also was in the distance; with his college-cap on, and the
biggest of all his canes under his arm. The two learned professors were
discussing my case, with very great interest, and some warmth.
"He will never fly again," said Professor Megalow; "he is too solid now,
and his bones are all set."
"The very reason for his flying all the more," quoth Brachipod,
contradictory even in a dream. "He can not only mount, but propel
himself now. See, I manipulate him, and off he goes, ten times as high
as he ever went before!"
Then he did something to me, and up I went; while he shouted, "That
proves my theory. Can anything be finer? Chocolous, Mullicles, and
Jargoon, come and confess, what a set of fools you are. Bravo, Tommy,
use your arms and legs!"
With such powerful action did I do this, while rushing up swift as a
rocket, that I knocked half the roof of the _Partheneion_ off, yet stuck
fast somehow, and could scarcely breathe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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