The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
And at first I was so touchy, that I felt inclined to do so. But better
sense prevailed; and on the following day, I left both the jewels at our
banker's, (one in my mother's name, and the other in my own) locked up
in a box, with other valuables. And this was a great weight off my mind;
and I said to myself, as I came away, "My blue eye shall never see the
light again; unless it is to please a pair of lustrous brown ones, a
million times more beautiful than any jewel ever seen. But, alas, I
shall never have such luck as that!"
Before I had time to fetch many sighs about it, or even to be certain
that I need sigh at all, (for Hope has a liking for my heart, because
she finds herself so well treated there) behold, there came to pass a
thing, that drove me to the very place, whither I was longing for to go.
"This very day," Sir Roland cried, as he jumped off his horse, and left
_Grip_ to mind him, "this very day, Mrs. Upmore, if you please, you must
send your dear son down to Larkmount-on-the-hill. The powers of evil are
conspiring against him; and nothing but his lovely face, and hair, and
the way he lets the sunshine come under his heels, will scatter the
devices of the democrats. Now, you hate all democracy; you know you do."
"As far as I understand the nature of it, Sir Roland," said my mother,
who was proud of accuracy, "I am not much for it, as a question of
degree. They sweep away all degrees, or try to do so. And how can Tommy
ever be an M.A. then?"
"You are right--too right I am sorry to say;" Sir Roland replied quite
gravely, for he always agreed most warmly with ladies, and by so doing
generally converted them; "better had he not attempt to be an M.A., with
the present Government in power. He will be exposed to the most fearful
risk. If the measures now proposed are passed next year, there are very
solid grounds for believing that a bonfire will be made of M.A.'s upon
Hampstead Heath, to celebrate the Democratic triumph. You saw the
Martyr's Memorial at Oxford, when you went to see what Tommy was up to
once?"
"Oh yes, Sir Roland, all cut into small ribs, not as if they had caught
fire at all, but as clean as the three Holy Children. But what I thought
most of, was the College halls, and kitchens, and the places with a
sliding shutter, where the butter is buttery, and no best Dorset."
"Not in vain is it that ladies have such powers of observation. But how
would you like to see all that swept away, and instead of it,
Board-schools, dissenting chapels, co-operative stores, and social
science institutes? And unless you send Tommy down with me to Larkmount,
that is all we shall have to look forward to. He alone can save the
Country, from the vast deluge of anarchy now pouring in."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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