The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
It was indeed high time for me to be stirring, if I meant to be returned
for Larkmount; about which I cared supremely little, except as a
stepping-stone, towards my true love, and ambition. For, although the
influence of the Towers should have been paramount in the borough, as a
matter of right and long usage, the times were become so perverted that
a brisk opposition was got up; and some Liberal orators had been brought
down, who had nothing whatever to do with the place, and cared not a
farthing for its interests. My competitor was the owner of a paper-mill,
out of which he had made a good lump of money; and he announced his
intention to spend it freely, for the national good--as he presumed to
say. As yet, I had only paid a single visit to the enlightened electors,
and their wives; whereas Mr. Squelch had been working hard for months,
with his agents, committees, and "organisation" of every kind, in full
activity. But Sir Roland was as confident, as ever he could be, and made
light of the enemy's start in advance.
"They don't understand human nature," he said; "all their promises will
have got stale, and insipid, and all their bolts of clap-trap will have
been shot. In fact they will have bored the poor electors so, that we
shall be a welcome novelty. We shall have all the ladies on our side, of
course; and in these days of ballot, that is everything. An elector may
promise as much as he pleases; but he dare not tell a lie about his
vote, to his wife."
Also concerning my infinitely higher, and a thousandfold dearer
ambition, it was high time for me to be doing my best; and I grew hot
and cold, when I thought of it. Hot, when I heard from Sir Roland--who
took the pleasure of a cannibal in telling me, while I could only reply,
"Oh yes," "To be sure," "Very nice," and such like inanities, because of
the compact between us,--how my Lord This, and Sir Somebody That, had
been staying at the Towers, and were most agreeable, and had shot very
fairly, and had admired the neighbourhood, (discharging far too well, I
feared, that duty towards their neighbour) and had promised most readily
to come again, for the hunting, and the woodcocks, in November.
And cold I became, (quite as cold as a boy, who wants to have his bed
warmed, and a treacle-posset, and his head wrapped up in a blanket)
whenever I fell back upon my own poor chances, and knew that I must put
them to the trial very soon.
This was quite certain to require all my skill, as well as a great deal
of good luck at the moment. And one piece of fortune befriended me; to
wit, that none of those owners of the earth were there, at the time of
my arrival. Two were to come, in about ten days' time; but I hoped to
get on a good bit before that, and talk of them as strangers, by the
time they came. For ladies in the country, who have not been spoiled in
London, like the faces they are accustomed to.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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